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He couldn’t remember, and busied himself opening each container to peek inside. “It’s probably been a few days.”
She turned on her heel and opened the cabinet, grabbing two plates. “Too long, then.”
They loaded their plates with various appetizers and let the desserts be for now, though Graham made sure the cheesecake was closer to his plate than hers.
“How was work?” he asked.
“Another chaotic day in the ED.”
“Any stories for me? You know I live for the good ones.”
She spread hummus across a triangle of flatbread. “I’ve got a sort of good one and a really good one.”
He could barely contain his excitement, indicative of just how boring his day had been. “Save the best for last.”
She took a bite and grinned at him as she chewed. “Okay. The first one was a guy with a nail in his head. Like, sticking straight out of his skull like he walked out of thatHellraisermovie. Walked right in, awake, talking, cracking jokes with his buddy who accidentally hit him with a nail gun.”
“Damn,” Graham whistled. “Remind me never to let you near me with one of those.”
Claire scoffed. “I’m excellent with power tools.”
“Right. That’s why you badgered me for weeks to put up the porch swing?”
“I could have done it. I just didn’t want to.”
He took a bite and just stared at her.
“Do you want to hear the best one or not?”
Graham nodded. Damn, that prosciutto was good.
“Okay, so this couple comes in, a man and a woman, and they’re probably in their fifties. The man has some sort of issue going on down there and he’s convinced his wife has been cheating on him and gave him an STD.”
Graham scooted to the edge of his chair. Thiswasa good one.
“Sure enough, his penis was red and swollen. Looked infected. The entire time he’s being examined he and his wife are fighting. She’s swearing up and down she didn’t cheat but he wasn’t having it.”
“Did he have an STD?”
“Nope. Get this.” Claire’s eyes went wide. “Turns out he got a jalapeño seed stuck up there somehow and that’s what was causing the problem.”
Graham nearly choked on his food. He took a long drink of water. “A jalapeño seed?”
“Yep.”
He blinked, his mouth ajar. “How... I... How?”
“Dunno. But when the doctor said what he found the guy’s face sort of cleared up likeOoooohhhh.”
Graham burst out laughing. “Shit. That’s so messed up.”
“Hey, everyone has their thing.”
“That’s one I think I’ll pass on, thanks.”
“I’m gonna go out on a limb and say I’d never have thought of that one in the first place.”
He tipped his glass in her direction. “Same.”
