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“Okay, how about this: Has the change in your relationship with Graham also changed your feelings for him?”
This was a topic Claire hadn’t let herself marinate on for long, and she wasn’t about to start now. “I think about him more, but I’ve also been around him a lot lately. For the first week after his accident I was worried about him and constantly thinking about his next dose of medicine or if he would fall when he was in the bathroom. Now, I think about how much fun he is in bed, and I wonder how different it might be once he’s recovered. I’ll admit I look forward to seeing him, and I don’t want to stop what we’re doing.”
“What would you do if he wanted to date you? For real?”
Feeling her shoulders tense, Claire shook her head. “I couldn’t. It’s not an option.”
“Why not?”
“I can’t live like my mom did. I want to have kids someday, and I won’t subject them to the possibility of what I went through. As much as I like Graham, and even though we’re having fun for the time being, he’s just not the right guy for me long-term. Remember what happened after that firefighter got injured a few weeks ago? Seeing Graham, my friend, come through on that stretcher was a thousand times worse. The thought of facing that with a partner... I just can’t do it.”
“Does he know you feel that way?”
“Yeah, I told him about my dad.”
Mia didn’t try to hide her surprise. As a rule, Claire didn’t discuss that topic often. “Really?”
“Yeah. He understands where I’m coming from, and besides, he feels the same. About serious relationships, I mean. I still haven’t gotten the full story, but he’s been burned and isn’t interested in that level of commitment. I get the feeling he doesn’t trust any woman, even me, not to hurt him eventually.”
Mia nodded slowly. “I’ve gathered bits and pieces from him over the years, but even Noah doesn’t know the full story. I guess I just assumed he was having fun living his life and hadn’t found a woman he liked enough to settle down with.”
“I’m sure that’s true to a point. I just don’t see any woman capable of getting inside that head of his.”
“What’s the status of the backup marriage pact?”
A laugh bubbled up. “Was I the only one who knew that wasn’t a real thing?”
Mia’s calm expression didn’t budge. “Worked for Noah and me.”
“That’s totally different. You two are made for each other.”
“What makes you think you and Graham aren’t?”
Claire blinked. “Did—did you listen to anything I just said?”
“I just think you might be a better fit than either of you think.”
“Unless big things change, including his job, extracurricular activities, and ability to be completely open about his thoughts and feelings, I don’t agree.”
“So he’s the only one that needs to make a change, huh?”
“I... No.” Claire frowned, rubbing at her forehead. “What’s with all the questions? Obviously I’m not perfect, either. Otherwise I wouldn’t be in my thirties and still single.”
Undeterred, Mia pressed, “No one’s perfect. Do you think Graham wants to change anything about you?”
Warmth settled deep in Claire’s belly as she considered that. “I’m sure there are things he wished were different, but I doubt he’d ever say it. He’s one of the most accepting people I know. Oddly enough the things other men seem to take exception to are the things Graham says are his favorite things about me.”
“Hmm.” Mia flicked invisible lint from her jeans, not seeming at all surprised.
Feeling suddenly uneasy with the direction this conversation was headed, Claire checked her phone. “Tacos are ten minutes out.”
“Perfect.” Mia extended her legs to rest her feet on the coffee table. “How are things going with the dating app? Anyone of interest?”
Claire had told Mia about signing up, but not about the total failure of a first date she’d had last weekend. When she thought back on that day, Graham was who she’d remember, not the douchebag she’d met for coffee. While the incident had been mortifying, the time she’d spent with Graham after she got home was more than enough to make up for it. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt so beautiful.
Or so wanted.
She picked up her phone and pulled up the app. “Actually, I haven’t checked in a few days.” That first experience had sort of left a bad taste in her mouth. She tapped the inbox, feeling Mia’s gaze on her. “I have two new matches.”
