Page 1 of Risky Desires


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ChapterOne

I never figuredI’d end up here. I had dreams when I was a kid, big plans to be someone important. Life, as it turned out,‌ didn’t really care about all that. And the plans I had, they all disappeared in smoke and fire. Now, I knew better than to dream. It was about survival. To do what I could to avoid reaching the point of giving up. Because people like me, in my situation, if they lost all hope, there was no coming back from that.

The air pulsed with the strength of the music from the club, even though I was outside. I’d never been inside, but I had an invested reason to stick close. She had a shift tonight, and she always showed up. I needed her to show up.

Pulling my legs up against my chest, I mentally counted down the minutes. The club opened a few hours ago. She would’ve been busy as the crowd grew. Just because she didn’t come straight here didn’t mean she forgot.

“Rosie.”

I sucked in a sharp breath, my head whipping up to track the voice. She stood just outside the club’s alley exit, her lips pressed into a thin line. I knew that look. Resignation. She was going to stop helping me and I really would be all alone.

“Tiff–”

She shook her head, cutting me off. “I’m sorry. I got yelled at last time. We can’t keep doing this.”

My chest tightened painfully, and I forced myself to my feet, ignoring her pitying look when I struggled. I was going on three days without food. She’d been my saving grace once upon a time. I didn’t know what I’d do without her.

“Please…”

Her sigh was put out, and guilt hit me hard. She felt like a friend, and I was asking her to put her job on the line. I didn’t have any other choice, though.

“There are shelters, you know. Food banks. Any number of–”

I grimaced, shaking my head quickly. “No. I can’t.”

Her eyes narrowed, and she made a tsk sound behind her teeth. “I’m trying to help you, Rosie.”

That sentence was so familiar to me, I felt like it should be tattooed on my skin at this point. I’d heard so many renditions of it, it was hard not to feel resentful. None of them ever considered the fact they only wanted to help me on their terms. Never on mine. And no one ever bothered to ask why I was reluctant.

“Can’t you just–”

“No. I can’t. I can’t keep risking my job. They think I’m giving you drugs.”

Biting my lip, I twisted my fingers helplessly. “But you’re not. And I need–”

She scoffed. “I know. I’m well aware. I just can’t help you anymore. I can give you a list of shelters in the area, but that’s it. I was being nice before. You’re taking advantage now.”

My heart sank, and defeat settled heavily over my shoulders. She wasn’t going to change her mind. It didn’t matter to her how much I relied on her. And it wasn’t fair of me to keep asking. I felt myself nod, keeping my eyes locked on the ground beneath my feet.

When she approached me, my body tensed. She didn’t hurt me, though. She pulled me into a hug and let out a long breath.

“I’m sorry. I wish I could do more.”

People didn’t hug me, not anymore, and I had to fight the urge to melt into the embrace. This was a goodbye, and my mind couldn’t process what was going to happen to me once she stopped helping.

“This hurts me just as much as it hurts you. Promise me you’ll go to a shelter.”

Stepping back, I forced myself to nod. It was a lie, but she didn’t need to know that. Her face softened, and she patted my shoulder.

“Good luck.”

And then she walked away without looking back. A whimper crawled up my throat and I just barely held it back. My back pressed up against the wall and I slid down it until I was sitting on the ground again. It felt like all hope went out the window and I caved in on myself with a sob.

A rumble overhead signaled a storm approaching, matching my mood. Normally, I’d move on by now, head somewhere with a little more coverage. But the defeat was so intense, I couldn’t make myself move. Even when the downpour started and drenched me completely, I couldn’t make myself stand up.

I don’t know how long I sat there. Time didn’t move the same when you were living on the streets. The pulse of the music was the only indication of time passing. No one came down the alley, no one noticed me, and no matter how much I pleaded with gods I didn’t fully believe in, Tiffany didn’t come back.

I’d shut my eyes at one point, ignoring the noises around me. It wasn’t until the alley door to the club opened that I finally looked up. It wasn’t Tiffany, though. A small group of men in suits stood just outside the door. One lit a cigarette while another held an umbrella to cover the one in the middle. The biggest one by far. Not that any of them were short by any means. All three looked as tall as skyscrapers and wider than trucks. Not fat, either. It looked like they were made of pure muscle. It was an intimidating mixture, and I dropped my gaze, shifting slowly to hide myself in the shadow of the nearby dumpster.

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