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I woke up back in my room. At first, I was confused. I normally woke after a nightmare at least once a night, but I figured out pretty quickly why I didn’t. Viktor was back in his spot next to me, his big body blocking my view of the door completely. He was pressed up against my side, one arm tossed over my waist. It was as close to cuddling as we could get without it hurting me. Warmth spread through me and I shifted closer, ignoring the twinge in my ribs. Viktor’s arm tightened in his sleep, keeping me close against him.
There was nothing more perfect than this moment. Never in my life had I ever been so sweetly taken care of. He always slept on top of the blanket to make sure I wasn’t freaked out, and he always stuck close. I had to believe his warm, protective embrace led to my dreamless sleep. I shut my eyes, wishing I could fall back asleep for a little while more, but Viktor’s phone started buzzing and woke him before I had a chance.
He mumbled under his breath, something about idiots, which made me roll my lips between my teeth to smother a laugh. When he rolled out of bed, I slowly sat up with him, grimacing against the ache in my sides.
“What?” he growled into the phone.
Not wanting to eavesdrop, I edged my way off the bed. Viktor offered me a hand, helping me to my feet, and followed me out of the bedroom. He split off into the living room while I did my business in the bathroom. When I was finished, he was throwing on his jacket. He must’ve seen my frown, because his face softened.
“I am sorry, ?????. I have to meet with Dmitriy.” He crossed the room, pulling me into his arms. “I need you to stay here. Gabi will visit in a little while. Please?”
Even if I hadn’t already planned on staying like he asked, once he said please, there wasn’t anything I’d do to argue with him. He wasn’t being cruel. He was trying to keep me safe. I nodded and cuddled against him.
“I’ll stay.”
He curled around me, hugging me gently. “Good girl. I will be back for lunch. Eat something before you take your medicine.”
He seemed almost reluctant to leave, hovering by the door. It lit me up inside just how much he seemed to care, and when he cupped my cheek and brushed his lips over mine, I lifted onto my toes to kiss him back. We stayed like that, soaking each other in, until his phone went off again and he let out a heavy sigh.
“I have to go. Be good.”
Waving him off, I felt my stomach flip when he flashed me a soft smile on his way out. I would stay in this apartment forever if I kept getting looks like that from him. I’d do anything to make him smile.
ChapterEighteen
I was regrettingmy eagerness to stay in the apartment. Three days later and I was getting antsy again. Not from fear, though that never fully went away unless I was with Viktor. I didn’t realize that in the last six months, I hadn’t stopped moving for more than a day and being stagnant was starting to get to me. I paced the apartment almost constantly and the little balcony didn’t help. I felt like I was slowly suffocating, even when I had plenty of air.
“It’s anxiety.” Doctor O’Connor’s calm voice dragged me back into the room. I’d taken another lap, which always included going out onto the balcony. Viktor had asked him to come check on me when I started having crying spells. I couldn’t help it, though. The little apartment was starting to feel like a cage.
“What do you mean? She has no reason to be afraid.”
The doctor shook his head. “It’s not the same thing. For someone who is probably used to moving around a lot and being outside, being trapped indoors can cause a lot of anxiety. I can give her some medicine to help, but I think the only true thing to help would be to get her some fresh air.”
Viktor frowned. “The balcony has fresh air.”
Sean shot him a dry look. “How would you feel if you were trapped inside all day? I’m not saying she should go out to a club. I’m saying take her outside for some sun. She can’t go far anyway, she’s still healing. Even just in front of the building, where she can feel a little less trapped, would help. Or you could bring her to my brother’s place. The property is fenced in and she could move more freely outside.”
Viktor sighed. “Now is not a good time to bring her across town.”
I felt guilty for making things so difficult on Viktor, but I latched onto the idea of getting to go outside and the thought of not being able to only made things worse. I started pacing again, trying not to get my hopes up.
“Well, then out front will do for now. If she can’t sit still and relax, it’ll affect her recovery in the long run. She needs fresh air.”
He waved at me as he left, always polite enough not to approach me unless he absolutely had to. All the guys were like that. Viktor had been right. Spending some time with them made them a little less terrifying.
Viktor scrubbed his hands over his face, letting out a heavy sigh. I was making his life difficult with this anxiety, but no matter how much I tried, I couldn’t make it go away on my own. My chest felt tight and I felt like I wanted to claw out of my own skin. I didn’t even argue when he suggested calling Doctor O’Connor. I felt bad, though, and when I came to sit next to him, I let him hear the remorse in my tone.
“I’m sorry… I don't mean to make things difficult.”
He dropped his hands, giving me a soft smile. “You are not at fault, ?????. I am just concerned for your safety. Going out during the day would be safer in terms of an attack, but night time would be easier to keep you out of sight.”
The idea of walking around in broad daylight was a little terrifying. I opened my mouth to suggest going with the nighttime plan, but his phone went off before I could say anything. He answered right away, a scowl appearing on his face at whatever was being said on the phone.
“No… Because I have something I need to do… No, it can’t.”
The jittery, restless feeling came back, and I pushed to my feet, pacing back outside. There was a net that blocked the birds from flying onto the balcony, and I clung to it, closing my eyes so that I could pretend I was actually outside again.
“I said no!”
