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Out in the hallway, I hear Spencer call out to her, but Jade doesn’t say anything.
I wait, holding onto the chair like I’m holding on for dear life. The sound of my heartbeat echoes in my eardrums, battling with the words haunting me. My father’s words. Jade’s words.
Suddenly, Spencer appears in my doorway. “What the hell have you done?” he asks, glaring at me.
He can be angry all he wants, but it’s nothing compared to how angry I am at myself.
“Is she gone?”
“Dude, she was crying. Whatever you did—”
“Is. She. Gone?”
“Yeah, she just…”
Before he can finish, I’m out of the chair and going straight for the liquor cabinet, pulling out a brand new bottle of Jack. Twisting the cap off, I take a pull directly from the bottle, letting it burn my throat.
You kill everyone you love.
It’s done. She’s going to be okay. She has to be okay.
I take another gulp as I repeat these words like a mantra, hoping it’ll burn this ache that keeps growing in my chest, suffocating me.
“Seriously? That’s your solution? Drink yourself to death?”
“Fuck off, Spencer.”
“No, you fuck off, Wentworth. You just ran off the only girl silly enough to overlook all your flaws and love you. What the hell’s wrong with you?”
“You don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about, so shut up.”
“Oh, I don’t? I see the way you look at her, dude. Everybody can see the way you look at her. You love her, so why the fuck did you push her away?”
“Because she’s dying! I can’t watch her die.”
You kill everyone you love.
I take a long pull from the bottle. My eyesight turns blurry as I choke on the whiskey.
I can’t be the cause of her death.
Not one more person. I can’t kill another person I love. I’d rather die than do that to her.
CHAPTERTHIRTY-ONE
JADE
On autopilot, I enter the apartment and close the door. I lean against it, the softclickechoing in the quiet space as I wrap my arms around myself and let my body slide to the ground.
I can’t keep doing this. I don’t want to keep doing this.I don’t want to keep seeing Gabriel’s face every time I look at you. Every time we go to chemo? I remember all the times I sat next to him. Every time you’re sick, I see my brother. Seeing you like this, it brings so many memories, and I can’t keep doing this, Jade. I can’t keep onhurtinglike this.
“Jade?”
Blinking the blurriness out of my eyes, I look up to find Grace watching me with worry written all over her face.
“What happened? Why are you crying? Is it ca—”
“Prescott broke up with me,” I whisper, my voice sounding dull even to my own ears.
