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I understood why he did it, I really did, but a part of me hated him for it. It was torture. Torture seeing him and not being able to talk to him, to go to him, to touch him.
Pushing upright, I feel my bones groan in protest. A few days ago, I had another round of chemo, the last one in this cycle, and my body is still recovering from it.
Worse.
Things had to get much, much worse before they could get better, but I wasn’t sure I was ready for it. The only saving grace was that I had a week off, just enough time to feel decent so I could get through my finals, and then it would be over. I’ve already decided that next semester I’ll only take one class. Something to ground me while I go through the rest of my chemo. Something to help me hold onto the future I could have. But I had to beat this thing first.
Grabbing my phone, I notice the time. Today the Ravens are playing their first game in the playoffs. Thankfully it was an away game, so I wasn’t tempted to go to the stadium to watch, but I’ve already talked to Grace, Rei, and Penny, and they agreed to watch it together.
Maybe this will be the final game you’ll ever have to watch,a twisted part of me says, but I shove it back.
Getting to my feet, I go to the bathroom to splash some water on my face. With my hair shaved off, my face looks even more hollow than before, the paler skin and the bags under my eyes more prominent.
Letting out a sigh, I shut off the tap and wipe my face before heading down the hallway, where I’m greeted by soft chatter coming from the main space. I follow the sound of the voices, only to come to a stop in the doorway when I see all of my friends gathered in the kitchen.
“We need more color,” Grace says. “I think we have another tube here somewhere…”
“Why did we think it’s a good idea to do this at home?” Callie asks. She’s sitting on a chair, a few foils stuck in her hair.
“The video I watched looked pretty easy,” Yasmin says, matching foils in her hair. “Besides, I don’t know why you’re complaining. You’re not the one who has to bleach your hair.”
Callie nods. “At least there is that.”
“Found it!” Grace yells, lifting a box in the air in victory. “It’s been…” She turns around, her eyes landing on me. “Jade, you’re up.”
They all turn to me, matching guilty expressions on their faces.
“I’m up,” I agree, leaning against the doorway. “And what are you all doing?”
“Nothing,” they all say in unison, matching guilty expressions on their faces.
“It doesn’t look like nothing. I didn’t realize we were meeting this early. The game won’t start for a few more hours. Besides, if I knew we were having a party, I would have changed.”
PJs, or well, my version of PJs, an old pair of leggings with the hoodie I stole from Prescott, is my go-to these days.
“We’re not having a party. We’re just…”
“I’m done.”
I slowly turn around, only to find Penny and Rei standing in the doorway. Rei got back a few days ago and will be staying here for a bit before she has to fly out for a competition, which will decide which skaters will represent Team USA in the Winter Games come February.
“You’re up.”
“As everybody keeps noticing,” I comment, wrapping my arms around my middle as I lift my brow. “Was I supposed to stay in bed all day?”
“Well, no, it’s just…” her words trail off. I know what she doesn’t say. It’s just that I’ve been in bed for the better part of the last couple of days. That is if I wasn’t throwing my guts up in the bathroom.
“I’m feeling better, so I figured I might get some coffee.” My eyes zero in on Penny and the towel on her head. “Why are you washing your hair here?” I look over my shoulder to find Grace standing behind me as the pieces start to fall in place. Still, I ask: “What’s going on?”
Grace places her hands on my shoulders and pushes me toward the empty chair at the counter. “Now remember, you said not to go shaving our heads…”
“What have you done?”
“We colored our hair,” Penny chimes in, tugging off the towel from her head. Her hair spills down, the usually platinum strands now bright pink.
“You did what?!” I look at all my friends. The foils, the smell of chemicals, bleach, the box.
Penny’s smile falls as she tugs at one of her strands. “Is it that bad?”
