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“For good this time,” I whisper. Saying the words out loud breaks something inside me even further, and that’s saying something considering I didn’t think there were any more pieces left of me to break.
“What happened?”
I bite my lower lip, chewing on the plump flesh as I think over my words. “I’m not the only one who’s been dealing with a lot.”
Then I tell her everything that has happened since the school year started. I tell her about hooking up and our crazy connection, but also about Prescott’s and my demons. We barely start dissecting pieces of it when my hour is up, and we agree to pick this conversation up in a couple of days during my next appointment.
I figured I might as well focus on therapy since I didn’t have much else to do except go to that one class a week. And chemo. Can’t forget about that one.
My phone vibrates just as I start my SUV and pull out of the parking lot. A small smile appears on my lips when I see the name on the screen, and I press the answer button.
“Hey, Gracie.”
“Hey, how are you doing?”
I let out a soft chuckle. “You know you sound just like my shrink, right?”
There is a moment of silence as my friend mulls over my words. “That doesn’t sound like a compliment.”
“Good, ‘cause it’s not.”
“So the whole shrink thing isn’t going well, I take it?”
“It’s going.” I let out a sigh. “I can’t say I’m a fan, but I know I need this. Plus, Dr. Hale is nice enough when she’s not busting my balls, so there is that. What’s up with you?”
“Just going to grab coffee between classes, and I missed you, so I decided to check in. I hate that you’re all alone out there.”
“Nixon is here every day, so I’m hardly alone.”
No matter how many times I told my brother that he didn’t need to worry about me, he didn’t want to listen. He was here most days, and if he wasn’t, Yasmin, or hell, even Callie, came to check in on me. Make sure I’m still alive.
“I know, but still, your place is here.”
“You know I can’t be there, not when…”
Not when I’d be so tempted to give in to Prescott. One glance at him. One pleading look. One touch. And my resolve would fall down like a tower of cards.
I had to do this.
I had to be strong.
For both of us.
“I know. Doesn’t mean I miss you any less.”
“I miss you too. Maybe you should come here one day, and we can have a sleepover or something.”
“Sounds like a plan. Are you still coming to watch Rei compete at the Winter Games? Everybody will be here.”
The hairs at the back of my neck rise. “Everybody?”
“Well, everybody buthim. Please say you’ll at least think about it.”
“I’m going to think about it,” I say, pulling into the driveway just as there is a familiarchimein the background. “Say hi to Yas for me and have one of those delicious coffees of hers.”
“I feel like you’re more upset about not having coffee than about not seeing your friends.”
“Of course not.”
