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It would be so easy.
So easy to lean in and kiss her.
So easy to lose myself in her and forget, even if for just a moment, about the shitty day—shitty few months—I’ve had.
She wants it, too.
It’s written all over her face.
But just as she leans in, my body revolts.
Wrong, wrong, wrong.
Wrong hair color.
Wrong eyes.
Wrong smell.
Wrong woman.
All the alcohol that I’ve put in myself today rolls in my stomach, threatening to make a reappearance.
“Shit.”
Shoving her out of my way, I start for the bathroom, but I trip over something, and my leg twists slightly. The pain shoots through my knee as I fall to the ground.
Fuck.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
The pain is unbearable, to the point that it takes me a moment to realize somebody cut off the music.
“The party is done.” Spencer’s loud shout is accompanied by groans in protest from the partygoers. “I know, boo-hoo. You know where the door is, don’t let it kick you in the ass on your way out.”
People start shuffling around me to the door. Some give me curious glances, but I ignore them as I push to my feet. My leg is useless, so I hold onto the wall as I limp my way into the bathroom.
Sweat coats my body as I get there, the bright light blinding me as I search the cabinets for any kind of pain relief.
“Where the fuck are the stupid pain meds?” I mutter, pulling open one of the cabinets, my eyes landing on a bottle. It’s not the good stuff, but it’ll have to do.
Anything will do at this point.
My hands are shaking as I try to open the pill bottle. It falls from my hand, a few pills scattering into the sink.
“Fuck,” I mutter as my vision turns spotty.
I grip the edge of the sink, trying to steady my hands, trying to steady myself. I gulp in a few breaths, willing my heart to slow down.
What the fuck am I doing?
My knuckles are white as I squeeze the sink, trying to stay upright as my body sways on the balls of my feet.
Just what the fuck am I doing?
I look up, forcing myself to face my reflection in the mirror. I’m a sweaty mess. My hair is disheveled, my beard long and unkept, my pupils dilated, and my eyes are bloodshot with dark circles so big they almost look like bruises under my eyes.
Jade’s face flashes in my mind. The pain in her eyes as she found the pills. No disappointment. No anger or outrage. Just pure pain.
