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Fingers skim my jaw, the touch almost feather-like, coaxing me to turn around and look at him. My throat bobs as I swallow.
This is bad. I should have never suggested it. I should never have…
“Nothing,” he whispers, his voice unyielding. “Nothing will ever be more important than you, Jade.”
“Prescott…”
He shakes his head. “I know I messed up. I know it, okay? I should have done better by you. I should have been stronger.”
“No—”
“Yes. I should have.” He cups my face, his fingers gently stroking my cheek. “I should have been stronger. I should have just been there. I get why you did what you did. I really do, but that doesn’t mean I don’t…”
My heart speeds up at his words, fingers clinging to the covers as I wait for him to finish the sentence, but he just closes his lips and looks away.
It shouldn’t hurt.
But it does.
“People, I lo—” He clears his throat. “People I care about die, Jade. I couldn’t do the same to you. I couldn’t be the reason—”
I nudge his hand with mine. The darkness is pulling me in, promising temporary oblivion, but I fight it the best I can. “It’s not your fault. Not Gabriel. Or me. It’s just life. Never you.”
“It’s me. I took Gabriel out that day, which caused the infection that killed him. Not cancer, but something that I did. The day you ended up in the hospital? We had a fight, and that’s why you’d been walking around instead of being home and safe. And rather than staying by your side, I walked away. I’ll never be able to tell you how fucking sorry I am, Jade. Nothing I do will ever be able to justify what I did.”
“Not your fault,” I shake my head, my eyelids too heavy to hold them open. “I forgive you. Not because I think you’re guilty but because you need to hear it. I forgive you, Prescott. And I’m pretty sure Gabriel feels the same way. It’s not your fault. Never…”
* * *
PRESCOTT
I forgive you.
Jade’s words still ring in my head as I watch her sleep, her body visibly shivering under the covers.
I didn’t even realize how much I blamed myself and needed to hear those words until she said them out loud. It’s like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
For the better part of my life, my parents blamed me for everything that had happened to Gabriel. And while there were things I could have probably changed, ultimately, it wasn’t me. It was the cancer. And even if I didn’t let Gabriel convince me to take him out, he wouldn’t have recovered. He would have had a little bit more time, but he would have never recovered.
And Jade…
“Hey, I got here as soon as I could,” Nixon whispers as he enters Jade’s room, his eyes moving from me to his sleeping sister. “How is she doing?”
“Still feverish, although I think it went down a little. She stopped throwing up about fifteen minutes ago and crashed almost instantly. I tried giving her some water, but she didn’t want any.”
“Damn,” Nixon goes to the other side of the bed, gently laying his fingers over her forehead. “I wanted to take her to chemo today, but my agent wanted to go over some things for the draft. Jade convinced me she was fine, and Grace was supposed to drive her. Thanks for getting her home, man. I don’t even want to…”
“That’s not something you need to thank me for.” I look up at my best friend. “Ever.”
Nixon nods his head, understanding flashing in his eyes.
Looking away, I allow myself one last glance at Jade. My fingers itch to touch her, so I curl them into fists, pushing to my feet.
“Take care of her, will you?”
“Always.”
Pressing my lips together, I nod and get out of there without a backward glance. But instead of going to my apartment, I go straight back to my car.
