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“H-how…” My voice breaks, so I clear my throat before trying again. “How long has she been in surgery?”
Nixon doesn’t even bother looking at his watch. “A little over three hours. If we’re to believe her doctor, it could be anywhere between four and six hours.”
Three more hours.
“I was in the waiting room, but…” Nixon shrugs.
He doesn’t have to say anything else. I’ve been in his place, waiting for some news or to hear that the person I love made it and if they’re going to get better. Not that he knows that.
“We can go back upstairs if you want.”
Unable to form the words, I just nod.
Nixon hits the elevator button, and we wait in silence. When the elevator arrives, we load in with the rest of the people. It feels like the damn thing is stopping on every fucking floor before we finally make it to Oncology.
“How did you find out, anyway?”
“Coach,” I mutter as I sit down. “He came to the gym and told me to babysit Gage because you had a medical emergency.”
“Shit.”
“Yeah,” I agree, leaning back and rubbing my hand over my face. “Shit.”
“I just couldn’t let her do this on her own. Not after everything that happened with our mom. She always pushed me to put football first, so it all fell onto Jade, and she resented me for it.”
I shake my head. “She could never resent you.”
Jade loved her brother. Yeah, sometimes he irritated her, but even then, she loved him.
“She did. At least a part of her. She told me so herself after…” He sucks in a breath, taking a moment to collect his thoughts. “After Mom died. Not that I blame her,” he rushes the words out. “I should have been there. I should have ignored what Mom told me and been there for her and Jade. Now she’s gone, and it’s like the past is repeating itself.” Nixon leans forward, his elbows touching his knees as he buries his face into his palms. “Apart from Yas, Jade’s the only family I have left. I can’t lose her.”
My throat grows thicker with every word he says, making it hard to breathe.
“I can’tloseher.”
The feeling is mutual.
“I thought it would help,” I confess softly.
Nixon gives me a side glance. “Help what?”
“Staying away. I thought it would help me stay detached, but…”
“It’s always the unexpected ones that bring us to our knees.” Nixon glares at me. “Not that that excuses what you did.”
“I never thought it did. But if it makes any difference, I never saw it coming. I don’t think either one of us did.”
“And yet, you walked away.”
I open my mouth, wanting to tell him about Gabriel, about our past, but it’s like the words are stuck in my throat.
Nixon shakes his head, clearly irritated. “If you’re not planning to stick around this time, go home now. Jade doesn’t need another person walking away from her. Not when she’s dealing—”
“I’m not going anywhere,” I interrupt him before he can finish. The words slipped from my tongue easily, the decision already made before I even had enough time to think about it.
It’s too late for that. Because want it or not, planned or not, I’m in love with Jade Cole, and no amount of staying away can make losing her bearable.
* * *
