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“You don’t need to manage it. There is nothing wrong with needing some extra help to relieve the pain.”
And risk getting dependent on pain meds? I think not.
“I’m doing good, really. If the pain becomes too much, I’ll take some more.”
“Okay.” Dr. Hendriks steps back. “All done.”
“Thank you.”
Grabbing the hoodie, I slip it back on and pull the zipper. I’ve learned early on that if I want to keep some dignity and not call others for help every time I need to get dressed, oversized zip-up hoodies are the way to go.
“Please tell me I can finally take a shower?”
I’m not above getting to my knees and begging. My whole body is one big itching mess, and I’m lucky I haven’t clawed my skin off yet.
“You can take a shower. The drains are out, and your incision looks good.”
“Finally.”
“I’ll write down those oils we talked about and recommend a physical therapist who specializes in mastectomy patients.”
“Sounds good.” I nod my head and hop off the bed.
“I still don’t want you to drive or lift anything heavy until the PT clears you. But apart from that, you can slowly get back to normal life.”
“Normal life,” I huff. The idea seems laughable. My life will never be normal again. “Is there even such a thing?”
Dr. Hendriks places her hand on my shoulder. “It might not seem that way, but thingswillget better.” She gives me a reassuring squeeze. “The next time we see each other will be for chemo.”
And just like that, she shattered any semblance of normal with eleven words.
Because one day, things might get back there.
But that day isn’t today.
Because, first, things are about to get much, much worse.
* * *
“You’ve been awfully quiet,”Grace says, glancing at me from the driver’s seat. “Did something happen at the doctor’s office?”
“Just thinking. That’s all.”
“About?”
“Life,” I let out a soft chuckle. “I’m fine, really.”
“You keep saying that, but I’m not sure who you’re trying to convince. Yourself or us.”
I guess she’s right about that.
“It’s okay not to be fine, Jade.” Grace places a hand over mine, giving it a firm squeeze. “Hell, nothing about this is fine. Young people shouldn’t get cancer. You’re just twenty. How the fuck is that fair?”
“It’s not. But we live in a world that is far from perfect.”
“I know, but still. I’m just so angry on your behalf. After everything that has happened with your mom, you deserve some peace and happiness.”
Peace and happiness.
