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“You got her pregnant, you bastard!”
My head snaps up, my eyes landing on Jade’s tear-stained ones as she still tries to pull her brother off me.
“W-what?!” I croak out. It can’t be. It’s impossible. It’s…
All fight leaves me as tears spill down Jade’s face telling me what Nixon said is true. A part of me is glad that he’s holding me because I’d have fallen to my knees right here and now.
Pregnant.
I close my eyes, letting my head bang against the wall.
Jade’s pregnant.
How the fuck did that happen? When? We were so careful. So freaking…
“You had no right!” Jade yells.
Nixon lets go suddenly, and I fall to the ground. Jade shoves her brother away. “That was my truth to tell him.”
“Jade…” Nixon says tentatively, taking a step forward, but she pushes him back.
“Mine!” Wiping away the tears, she glares at him. “Get the hell out.”
“Smalls, I just…”
“Get the hell out, Nixon!”
Nixon looks at her for a moment longer but does as she asks. Silence settles over the room, nothing filling it except the sound of our heavy breathing, but it’s soon broken by a sob.
Taking a step forward, I wrap her into my arms as she cries loudly. Her fingers clasp around me as she buries her head into the crook of my arm and bawls uncontrollably. It’s like all the walls that she’s been building around herself in the last few weeks have crumbled to the ground.
Completely shattered.
I did this.
Just one more person I broke in the end with my carelessness.
Fuck!
Tilting my head back, I close my eyes to fight the burning behind my eyelids. “I’m so sorry, Jade,” I whisper, soothing my hand down her back. “So freaking sorry. If only I’d been there. If only…”
If only what?
If only I hadn’t fucked her? If only I hadn’t touched her? If only I never gave in that first time? If only I hadn’t loved her?
You kill everyone you love,my dad’s brutal words come back like a wrecking ball.
I tighten my arms around her. “I’m so, so sorry, baby.”
Jade shakes her head, pushing back so she can look at me. Her eyes are watery and red-rimmed, but she’s still the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. “It’s not your fault.”
“How is it not my fault? If it weren’t for me, none of this would have happened. If it weren’t for me…”
Jade grabs my cheeks, forcing me to look at her. “If it weren’t for you, I’d still have cancer. There is no running away from it. You didn’t do this.”
“I got you pregnant.”
The bile rises in my throat at the mere mention of the words. At their implication. This would be fucked up even if she wasn’t sick, but now... now it’s ten times worse.
