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“I’m not.” She raises her hands, pressing them against my face. “I’m not that girl anymore, but… Some days it’s harder to remember that. Today was one of those days.”
I close my eyes, feeling the weight of her words.
This was all my fault.
“Can we talk about something different?”
“Like what?”
“How about we don’t talk at all?”
Reluctantly, I let her slide off my lap. She smooths her hand over the back of her skirt as she takes a seat next to me, her hands finding the keys.
I recognize the song as soon as the first note hits. Another one of my songs. I listen to her sing it to me, the sound of piano and that husky voice of hers making the song sound completely different, almost haunting.
Goosebumps rise on my skin as I silently listen to her play. Once she’s done, she effortlessly switches to another song and then another. I’ve lost count of how many of them there are before those dark blue eyes turn to me.
“Play with me?”
It was such a simple request.
But then again, Penelope was a simple woman, and there was nothing I wouldn’t do for her. I let my hands join hers as we play another one of my songs.
I expect her to switch to a different one the moment we’re done, but she surprises me when her fingers stay still. I look up to find Penelope nibbling at her lip, her finger tracing the piano keys.
Sometimes I wish I could get inside her head and know everything that’s going on in there. So that I could know her, every single part of her, inside and out.
“Would you really be okay with it?” she asks softly, breaking the silence. “If I didn’t go?”
I let her words sit for a moment as I think them through. Did I want her to go with me so I can show her this other side of me? Hell yes. I wanted to see her in my house, sleeping in my bed. I wanted to see the joy on her face as I showed her my piano and watched her play it. I wanted to take her to the studio so she could see what it could be like. But none of those things were worth it if it meant that she won’t be happy there. That she’d be bullied by people to the point it took her back to that dark place she was in a few years ago. She was more important.
More important than my wishes.
More important than this fear that’s niggling inside me.
“You don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with, Penelope. I’m so sorry this is happening.”
She shakes her head. “It’s not your fault.”
“Like hell it isn’t. If it weren’t for me, none of this would be happening right now.”
“Maybe.” Penelope slides her thumb over my lower lip. “But if it weren’t for this, I wouldn’t have gotten to meet you. And no matter what happens or how many bullies post nasty comments on my videos, I’ll always choose this. I’ll choose meeting you,havingyou, even if it’s temporary.”
That was the problem.
I didn’t want this to be temporary.
I wanted her.
Plain and simple.
“Kiss me, Birdy.”
The corner of her mouth twitches upward just before she leans in, her lips pressing against mine. Pushing all other thoughts away, I focus on her, on this moment right here and now, and show her with my actions, if not with my words, just how impossible it is for this to be temporary.
CHAPTERTHIRTY-FIVE
SEBASTIAN
