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“Eli.”
I knew that tone. Noah was about to put hisI-need-to-get-through-to-Elivoice on. I braced myself.
The last time he’d done this, I’d gotten myself into a pub and come back home with no memory of what I’d done. All I knew was I was wearing a slinky silver vest that looked like a fishnet. Not ideal.
“Look, when have we guys ever taken the conventional road toanything?”
That was true. I’d always abhorred convention, particularly because it meant perpetuating the evils that had led to my losing June. Plus, rules had a way of protecting those in power.
Those who didn’t have it usually had to fight to gain control.
“I’m not one for convention,” Benji spoke up. “But Eli has a point. If we get caught, it could be a sticky situation. We can’t afford to get blacklisted before we’ve done what we came to do, Noah.”
Noah was quiet for a second.
“I think we can be careful. If we commit, if we really want to spend time with this girl and see where it can go, I think we can make it work. That’s what it comes down to, after all. So, I’m asking you guys—is Rory worth the risk? To me, she is.”
I remembered Rory’s voice, so soft and sweet. Her loose hair. Her wit and beauty. And her unapologetic urge to embrace herself for who she was. She was definitely every bit worth the risk.
“How do we even tell her, though?” Benji asked.
Good question. This part had completely slipped my mind. Fuck, what would she do if she found out Mr. Darcy was her English professor? My cheeks reddened at the mere thought of it.
“I’ve already met her.”
“WHAT?” We both shouted in unison. “WHEN?”
“I mean,” Noah replied, “I’ve notmether, but I was in the chatroom with her yesterday, and we had a long talk. She saw me and she knows who I am.”
“You don’t say?” I couldn’t resist the jibe. “How would she possibly know who you are if she saw you?”
“Ha-ha.”
I could almost see him scowling on the other end of the line. I grinned. “Okay, so how did she take the news?”
“She was a bit taken aback at first, but the way she came around, guys! Benji, if you were there, you’d go on with your fate crap and tell us we were all meant to be together.”
“Hey!” Benji sounded injured. “Fate isn’t crap!”
“Yes, yes, sorry. So I proposed a meeting. Face to face.”
I fell silent. I could hear Benji’s breathing through the line. Outside, the sun began to turn tangerine.
“What if that doesn’t go well?” I asked. “What if she sees me and decides it’s all too much?”
“Well, that means we go on as we always have. But would you rather know and make a choice, or would you spend the rest of your life wishing you could have just had the guts to face her and see where it went?”
Touché.
One thing, though. I had to speak about that. “I can see myself doing this. Honestly, I can. But I have a kid to think of too.”
Noah’s voice was gentle when he responded, “Of course you do. And God knows we all love Sally, and we’d protect her like soldiers. You don’t need to involve her in anything right now, Eli. This is you. We’re talking about just you.”
Could I do it? Could I go out, meet Rory in real life, and take a chance on fate once again?
I didn’t know. But I could tell I really wanted to try. When it came to matters of the heart, I’d always be open to breaking apart if it meant I could find someone to mend the pieces and put me back together.
I’d broken a long time ago, though. And it had taken me years to fix my life because this time around, there was no one to help. Just my daughter and some memories.
