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Twenty-Two
Gwendoline
After cleaning herself up and changing into her pajamas, Gwen left her room in search of food. She would’ve thought that Silas and Rayen would follow her but to her great relief they’d given her privacy. Though she thought it was cute that Rayen wanted to clean her, it made her uncomfortable.
Walking towards the stairs, she saw Amon sitting by the piano, his hands stationary on the keys. He seemed frozen, like a statue, his face unreadable like the first time she’d met him. A little timid, she knocked on his door frame, not wanting to intrude on his privacy without permission. His head turned towards her, his eyes slightly warmer than what she would’ve expected.
“May I come in?”
“No need to ask.”
“This is your private room.”
“The door will always be open for you.”
His sweet words made her all warm and fuzzy. She stepped closer and sat on the armchair that still sat next to the piano.
“I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable earlier. I didn’t mean to push or force anything on you that you weren’t ready to give yet.”
“You never asked me to do anything.”
“Yet, I did it in front of you. I wasn’t thinking. I didn’t mean to tease you.”
“I know you didn’t. I’m sorry for hurting you, for leaving and disappointing you.”
“I would be lying if I said it didn’t hurt or that I wasn’t disappointed, but I’m not upset with you for doing it.”
He tilted his head studying her face. “You’ll reject and resent me at some point for my behavior.”
She took a deep breath and let the air flow out of her lungs and pass her lips very slowly. “Of course, I want you. I want to feel you, hug you, touch you, but I understand why you’re not ready. I might not understand your exact loss, but I understand the pain of losing someone you love. After Evie’s accident, I hated everything and everyone. No one was allowed near me. There wasn’t one person in the entire world who would be able to replace her. It took me a few years to figure out that no one wanted to replace her. They just wanted to help me and be by my side as I grieved.” Looking at Amon she smiled. “I don’t want to replace Marianna, or make you forget. I want to know all about her so I may honor and love her like a sister.
“I understand why you think you are betraying her and the vows you made to her. I was the same with Evie, I felt horrible for enjoying and having fun, for living my life and making memories without her. In my deepest hour I tried to picture her next to me angry and hurt, but all I could see was love and pride. I realized that she wouldn’t want me to suffer, just like I wouldn’t have wanted her to suffer if anything happened to me.”
She stood up, closing the distance between them. With her fingers, she gently caressed his cheek, his smooth skin much colder than that of Rayen or Silas.
“Maybe Marianna would want the same, she would want you to love and feel love again, without forgetting her or your child. I could be biased on the matter though. You know her best, so it’s up to you to decide what she would’ve wanted for you.”
Not wanting to overstep another line, she quickly walked out leaving a stunned Amon behind her. Unable to find Silas or Rayen anywhere, she walked back up with a snack in her hands. Curious, she turned to the room next to hers. The door was cracked open, so she knocked, not knowing whose room it was.
Rayen opened the door within an instant. “I wasn’t sure if you wanted our company any longer.”
Eager to see what his room looked like she looked past him. “I want it, but only if you do too.”
“Always,” he stepped aside and gave her an open view into his room.
It was much more modern than Amon’s and looked much more like a bedroom. A king-sized bed was opposite the door, with light silky sheets and tons of pillows. To her right was the closet and bathroom, with two windows to her left. Between the windows was a large glass desk with a set of screens. To both sides of the door were glass shelves filled with antiques.
“Do you like it?”
She grinned at him. “Not the dungeon I expected.”
“I’m hiding the coffin from you.”
She turned to the shelves, munching on her snack. “Did you find all these?”
He shook his head and wrapped his arms around her from behind. “No but I like expensive stuff and things like these are usually the most expensive.” He chuckled. “Amon doesn’t let me buy art, so this is it.”
