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I rose and hurried down the steps. Even though I hadn’t seen him, Zayne’s presence was right behind me.
I stopped abruptly, then spun on my heel. “Can you give me some space for now?”
“A little.” Compassion filled his green eyes.
I stomped off like a two-year-old that hadn’t gotten his way. Any ounce of maturity had checked out the second Brynn had left the property. Seeing her like that fucking gutted me. I couldn’t imagine how hard this was going to hit Chance when he had time to catch his breath.
Reaching the end of the driveway, I turned right and walked down the road. I had no idea where I was headed, but I had to walk. Hell, I wasn’t even sure I could go back to Chance’s after seeing Brynn struggling to breathe. Too much had happened in the last few days for it not to hang over my head like a black storm cloud that had the potential to kick up a tornado and rip right through me at any given second. I was definitely about to lose my mind.
I wasn’t sure how long I’d been walking, but the sun had begun its descent, leaving streaks of purple and gold in its wake. A part of me wondered if River could see the sky. If so, did she know that I was thinking about her? Finally, I came to a stop and turned back toward Chance’s place.
Zayne had kept true to his word. Although I could see him, he hadn’t smothered me. My head cleared enough to realize that I’d left Jace by himself. Maybe he needed the time alone, too.
Zayne waited, then fell in step beside me. “Brynn’s alive. That’s what you need to focus on.”
“Yeah, like you have any fucking clue of what that did to me today,” I snapped.
Zayne’s expression didn’t change. “I lost someone. There wasn’t any hope of a recovery. So, yeah, I understand what you’re going through. Brynn is still alive.”
Shit. I’d been a total ass.
“I’m sorry I lashed out at you . . . and that you lost someone.” A part of me wanted to ask what had happened, but I couldn’t. I was doing my best not to spiral out.
“I know my advice will be difficult, but focus on River. Meet with Tim, see if you can get him to slip up. Control the things that you can, Holden. Brynn will have an entire medical team at her disposal. I’m not trying to be a dick, but there isn’t shit you can do for her. She’ll have doctors and nurses around the clock checking on her constantly. The best thing you can do for Brynn is to bring River home. She needs some hope. Not only has it been too much for her physically, but mentally as well.”
I blew out a huge sigh. “It fucked me up seeing Brynn struggling to breathe like that.”
“I’m sure it fucked everyone up.” Zayne continued to look straight ahead as he spoke.
Guilt elbowed me in the side, and I winced. I hadn’t even checked on Jace. I’d stormed out of the house and left him behind. “I need to talk to Jace.”
Without another word, we walked the rest of the way back. By the time I climbed the steps of Chance’s porch, the darkness had settled in for the evening. Crickets softly chirped, the only noise in the otherwise silent neighborhood.
I entered the living room and nodded at Zayne before I closed the door. Jace was sitting on the couch, staring at the television. A single lamp softly lit the space.
“You realize the TV isn’t on, right?” I asked him as I sank wearily into the chair.
“Yeah. It’s just the focal point, I guess.” He looked at me.
Jace’s eyes were swollen and red-rimmed. I was glad he’d been able to let it out. It sucked when the emotion sat on your chest like a stubborn elephant unwilling to move.
“Any word from Chance?” I fidgeted in my seat.
“No. I assumed he’d call you first.” He ran his hands through his hair and propped his foot up on the coffee table in front of him.
“Have you eaten anything?” I stood, ready to at least grab a beer.
“No …” Jace glanced at me. “The last thing I tasted was Brynn’s lips. I don’t want to lose that. Not yet.” He touched his fingertips to his mouth.
“I get it.” I made my way to the kitchen. Pulling the refrigerator door open, I moved out of the way as a bag of Brynn’s Ruffles toppled to the wood floor. I snatched them up and placed them on the counter. “She still puts her chips on top of the fridge.” I shook my head. “Strangest place for them.” I peeked at Jace, who had a silly grin on his face.
“She’s done that since we were in middle school. I guess I’d forgotten because she rarely eats chips these days.” He sat up straight. “Do you think she’s going to make it, Holden?”
It was definitely time for a Heineken. I twisted the top off and took a long drink. “Yeah. I do.” Returning to my chair, I plopped down. “I’m not sure what happened today, but she’s a fighter. She’s not any more ready to leave us than we are for her to go.” I picked at the corner of the label that was wrapped around the green bottle.
“Maybe we overdid it in the bedroom earlier.” His brows tugged low, shadowing his blue eyes.
I couldn’t help but grin. Brynn could definitely hold her own with these two. “It probably made her feel alive and took her mind off her cancer. You guys did her a favor. Don’t give it a second thought.”
