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Twenty minutes later, I was locked in my cage again. I tossed the box of pads beneath my bed and sat down on the edge of the mattress while I waited for the sound of the guard’s footsteps to disappear.
“Reid?” I called softly.
Only silence responded.
I didn’t really anticipate he would answer because it was daytime, but I looked forward to our conversation later.
Since I’d slept and eaten the last few days, nervous energy hummed through me. My two-week countdown to training had already started, and fear bloomed to life in my chest.
Within days, I’d been stripped, assaulted, and now … I placed my hand on my lower abdomen where my baby should have been growing. Safe, warm, secure, and trusting that I would take care of him or her. A stifled wail escaped me, my body shaking uncontrollably as the emotional pain crushed my soul. I clutched the side of the bed as tight as I could, desperately needing something to ground me because I was floundering. A silent scream built in the pit of my stomach, and I suppressed it, allowing it to simmer since I needed the anger to fuel me, drive me, and keep me alive and sane.
I gasped for air, giving in to the emotions and berating myself for being so fucking stupid when I’d ditched Zayne. It wasn’t anyone else’s fault that I was here except mine. When my tears finally ran dry, I wiped my face and promised myself that I wouldn’t spend any more time-wasting energy on a pity party.
The clang of Reid’s cell opening and closing pulled me out of a deep sleep. Peeling my swollen eyelids open, I gathered my bearings and sat up. When the footsteps faded, I waited to see if I could hear anyone moving.
“Reid?”
“River? Oh, my God! You’re back. Where the hell have you been?” His words dripped with panic and worry.
I hurried to the bars and wrapped my fingers around the cool-to-the-touch iron.
“I’m here. Stretch your arm out.” I smooshed myself against the door and reached for him. We latched onto each other, and I smiled. For a few minutes, my broken world was okay.
“I was scared you were either gone or …” He squeezed my hand. “I’m just glad you’re here.”
“Me, too. I thought about you. Wondered how you were doing and wanted desperately to get word to you that … I wasn’t all right, but it’s over now.” I ground my molars together and swallowed my devastation. “I have a lot to tell you, but first, how are you doing? Have you seen Nadia?”
Reid’s thumb stroked the back of my hand. I wished like hell it was Holden. The second I thought it, guilt jabbed me in the side. I was grateful for Reid, but I wanted Holden so bad it was fucking gutting me.
“No, she hasn’t been here in a while. It happens.” His tone sounded sad and lost.
“I’d give you a hug if I could.”
“At least we can touch. The fact it has nothing to do with sex is nice,” Reid said. “Nothing really new to report, honestly. Same thing every day.”
“Where do you go when you leave here?” I’d only seen a section of the house and compound.
“This place is a lot bigger than it looks. There’s another big-ass house about a mile up the road where the clients can be entertained in luxury. That’s where I … work.”
“I didn’t realize there were more homes up the road.” A beat of silence hung in the air. “Reid, we have to get out of here. How close are you with the guard you … you’re with?”
“I don’t know how to answer that. He’s been visiting several times a week for a few years, I think. I’ve not really kept track.”
“Does he … is there a possibility he might be in love with you?” My pulse pounded with anticipation.
“He has said as much, but I don’t reply. I don’t feel the same. He’s only a means to an end, and I know how horrible that sounds, but it’s true.”
I readjusted my grip on him. “It’s survival, there’s no shame in that. But what if you did pretend to have feelings for him? Do you think he might help us escape? I mean, think about it. He knows the area and how to leave. What if he’s our ticket out of here? What if we can get free, Reid?”
I tried to imagine a puzzled expression on his face.
“It might work. I’ll try. Especially if it means you can have your baby safely.”
A few tears escaped, dripping down my cheeks, but I angrily swiped at them. I had to stay focused.
“I met the women who run everything. They drugged me and gave me an abortion without my consent.” My voice cracked with the confession. It was the first time I’d verbalized what had happened, and saying the truth out loud made it so real I could taste it on the tip of my tongue, which gutted me even deeper.
“What? Goddammit, I’ll find them, River, I swear I will. When I do …” Reid’s fingers threaded through mine. “Who’s behind it all? Tell me everything.”
