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Tentatively, I stepped out of the spray and moved a cautious inch toward him. “Okay,” I said softly. I fought the urge to cover myself, but Holden had seen me naked plenty of times. He also wasn’t leering or trying to hurt me.
Holden’s wet shirt molded to his skin, revealing his muscular chest and washboard abs. I wanted to reach out and touch him, but I was too afraid that he would disappear like he had in my dreams. I desperately needed him to be real right now.
Holden reached for the blue bottle of shampoo and gently smiled at me. “Do you want to know what happened with the club?”
“Yeah.” I turned around so he could lather my long strands. My nerves had settled down some.
Holden worked the shampoo into my hair and massaged my scalp as he talked. “I met Tim for breakfast to see if he had any information about you. He didn’t, but he offered to ask around to see if he could learn anything. While I was talking to Tim, Zayne put a tracker and a recording device in his car. Later, we heard Tim trying to negotiate with your kidnapper. He’s a piece of shit, but he honestly tried to bring you home.”
“What? Do you know why?” My voice cracked, rising in pitch. What the fuck? Tim was the last person on earth I thought would fight for me.
“My best guess is that he knew I would never stop looking for you. Plus, once I found out who took you, I think it would be obvious that he was connected to those monsters somehow. He didn’t want to take the fall along with them.”
“It’s always about him. Tim doesn’t care about anyone else. Not even his kids.” Sadness clouded Holden’s features. “I’m sorry, Holden. I shouldn’t have said that.”
“Why not? It’s the truth.”
I tilted my head back, the sensation of Holden’s hands in my hair comforting me. “Zayne’s fucking smart. I probably wouldn’t have thought to do that.”
“I agree. We’ve gotten to know each other pretty well.” Holden ran his sudsy fingers through my strands, then touched the back of my neck. An uncontrollable shiver coursed through my body. The fact that Holden was fully clothed helped. It was clear he was here because he loved me, not to hurt me.
“Can I rub your shoulders?” he asked.
“Yeah.” I gathered my long brown hair and draped it over the front of my shoulder, allowing him better access. I needed Holden to touch me. I needed him to replace the horrible experiences with Barrett. How far we could go was the question. Apparently, I had more triggers than with Dan.
“Tim actually provided a video of him boarding his flight from Monte Carlo. And we were right, he and Logan are business partners. Have been for a long time. We suspect that Logan stays at the trailer park in Montana as his cover. It most likely keeps the FBI from breathing down his neck, because the man definitely has money.”
“They’re both such pieces of shit.” Fresh hatred pumped through my veins for Logan and Tim.
“They’re pretty tight from what I gathered. So, Tim was able to prove he wasn’t in Spokane when everything went down. In my mind, it didn’t absolve him, though. But it gets better.” He continued to massage my shoulders, the stress easing a bit. “Tim offered me a job to work with him. He said I would have more money and power than I’d ever dreamed of.”
I squeezed Holden’s hands and turned to him, unable to mask my shock. “Shit. Seriously? What did you say?” I tipped my head back and rinsed the shampoo from my long strands, focusing on Holden.
“I told him no. At first, I thought he didn’t take it hard, but …” Holden blew out a sigh. “He continues to surprise me. When Zayne and I were on the way to the club, Chance called. 4 Play was on fire. I could see the black smoke billowing up in the air from the highway. It wasn’t long after I arrived on the scene that Tim called me and admitted to having his men start the fire. He told me to deal with the insurance and let him know if I reconsidered his offer.”
My mouth gaped, and I quickly slammed it closed as the bitter taste of shampoo trickled over my tongue. “What was the point of Tim destroying your club?”
“A power play. It was a reminder that he could get away with it and force me to work with him.”
“That’s so fucked up. He’s your father, for God’s sake.” I turned, rinsed my face, and looked at him again. “Where’s the soap?”
“Tim isn’t normal, that’s for sure.” Holden reached behind him, then gave me a bottle of lilac body wash. I cracked a grin as I sniffed it. “I would have never taken Chance as the floral type.”
Holden chuckled. “There’s a lot that would surprise you about Chance.”
I gave him a curious smile. After spending a little time with Chance, I gathered there was a lot more to him. “What happened next?” I squeezed a healthy amount of soap into my palm after realizing I’d forgotten a washcloth. Holden kept his eyes on mine as I lathered up. I wondered if it was too difficult for him to look at me because he wanted to be with me or because I was damaged goods.
“I accepted Tim’s offer, but only under the condition that he brought you back. You were pregnant and if he could return you safe and sound, he would own me. I would do anything he asked me to.”
“Holden Alastair,” I whispered, my arms slowly lowering to my sides and my chest aching from his confession. “Don’t you ever sell your soul to save anyone, least of all me.”
“It wasn’t like that, baby. I was working with the FBI, plus the recording device picked up some of his phone calls. They weren’t on Bluetooth though, so we weren’t able to know who he was talking to. But he knew who had you. My plan was to string him along until he gave us the information we needed. There’s no way I would ever actually work with that fucker.” He raised his hand, cupping my cheek. “There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you, River.”
Deep down inside, I knew this. He was proving it right now. Not once had he touched me in a sexual way. My heart and logic warred against each other, tugging me in opposite directions. I wanted Holden. My body needed him inside of me. I needed to reconnect with him, but I was afraid I would freak out, and it terrified me. Being scared never stopped you before, my mind said.
I rinsed my skin, grateful I no longer reeked of the compound. “I’m sorry Tim burned the club.” I squeezed the excess water from my hair. “I know how much it meant to you.”
“Maybe it’s for the best. We can talk about it later, but in order to stay sane and hold onto the fact that we would have a future together, I looked at some lakefront property.” Holden stepped out of the shower and onto the white, fluffy floor mat. He leaned over, collected the towel off the counter, and gave it to me. I wrapped it around my body, then followed him.
