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“For when I am ready, I need to go ahead and start a new prescription for my birth control pills.”
“I’ll call the doctor and have her write a new one. She’ll want to see you soon, but it will take care of things for a little while. At least, buy you some time.”
“Thanks. I just want to be prepared.” I nervously pulled at the corner of the sheet. “You were so patient with me when we first got together.”
“And I will be again. You’re steering the ship, babe.”
I leaned over and kissed him as I placed my palm against his bare chest. “I’ve missed you so much.”
He swallowed, multiple emotions flickering in his expression. “I’ve never been so terrified in my entire life, River.”
“Me, either.”
We sat in silence, reveling in each other’s company. Sometimes words weren’t necessary.
“Do you want some coffee?” Holden tucked my hair behind my ear.
Excitement pumped through me. Coffee. Nectar of the Gods. I hadn’t had any since the morning of my kidnapping. “I would love some.” I swung my legs around, and my bare feet grazed the soft rug. Last night, I hadn’t noticed the polished wood floors and black and tan carpet. I was too exhausted, struggling to remain connected to reality.
“I like Chance’s house. I’m glad he’s letting us stay.” I grabbed Holden’s T-shirt off the nightstand and slipped it on.
“Yeah, he’s a good guy.” Holden stepped into his basketball shorts, then slipped on a Seahawks jersey.
I crawled over to his side of the bed. My nerves were standing on edge as I realized I needed to have a difficult conversation with Holden. “I’m not sure what time it is, but I need to talk to you before we go to Pierce and Sutton’s to meet Brian. There are things you should be the first to know.” I peeked up at him, afraid to share the truth. “Maybe we can get some coffee before we talk, though?”
He stood, then slid his arms beneath mine and lifted me off the mattress. Without a second thought, I wrapped my legs around his waist. Threading my fingers through his hair, I pulled his head back, then brushed my lips softly against his. Our mouths lingered, tasting and taking from each other. His tongue danced with mine, and heat licked beneath my skin like fire.
Holden’s erection pushed against my center, and a gasp escaped me.
He immediately broke our kiss and set me down. “We should get some coffee.” He placed his finger under my chin and tipped my face up. “Don’t take that as rejection, River. You have no idea how much I want you, but I won’t risk losing you emotionally and mentally. We’re going to take it slow.”
I loved it when he took control, protected me even from myself. Wrapping my arms around him, I rested my head against his chest and listened to the steady beat of his heart. “I love you. Not just because you’re sexy as hell, but because you’re so good to me. You make me feel as though I’m worthy to be loved even when I’ve done some shitty things.” Like orgasm with a monster. I shuddered at the memory, then pulled away.
Holden must have sensed not to ask me about the shiver because he opened the bedroom door and led me to the kitchen. I hopped up on the counter, the black and white marble countertop cool against the backs of my thighs. The light wood floors complemented the space. His stainless-steel appliances were top of the line like the ones we’d selected for the penthouse. He obviously owned a nice coffee pot with an alarm option, which was amazing. “I guess Reid is still asleep,” I said quietly.
“That’s good. I’m sure he needs it.” Holden rummaged around in the cabinet and removed two mugs, filling them almost to the top. He glanced over his shoulder at me. “Creamer?”
“Mm, yeah.” My eyes widened. It was funny how creamer had been available most of my life, but now it was a luxury. So was a comfortable bed and a bathroom without bars.
He topped it off with white chocolate creamy goodness and handed it to me. I sipped it slowly, basking in the glory as the warm liquid coated my tongue and ran down my throat. “Heaven.” I peered at Holden over the rim of my cup.
He flashed me a beautiful grin, and my soul lit up. “When … when I was first taken,” I held up my finger, taking another drink. My arms lowered, and I shook my head, attempting to clear my thoughts.
“Take your time, babe.” Holden leaned against the opposite counter.
“Becky—well, Michelle—tried to drown me.”
Red-hot fury crawled up Holden’s neck and cheeks. I had never seen him so angry. “She did what?!” His tone curled with venom.
“I’m obviously fine, but she was in on it. She’s why I was taken.” I set my cup down and rubbed my arms, suddenly chilled.
Holden stared at his feet, then his furious gaze connected with mine again. The muscle in his jaw ticked as he clenched his teeth. “Did you know that she’s FBI?”
I nodded. “I found out when she gave me a tour of the training compound.” Hopping off the island, I paced the small space in front of him. “Is there a possibility that we can go outside while we talk? There’s so much to tell you. Plus, it would be amazing to enjoy the fresh air. Just knowing that I can walk in and out of the house a hundred times if I wanted to … it helps me remember that I’m not living in a cage any longer.”
A look of pain and worry etched into Holden’s features. In two quick strides, he closed the gap between us and gently kissed my forehead. “If it helps you, I’ll pitch a tent outside and we can sleep there every night.”
I giggled and slid my arms around his waist. “I prefer a real bed and bathroom, but I’ll let you know if that changes.” I released a sigh of contentment. Even if it didn’t last long, I’d learned to take those moments when I could. “I’m sure the guys will be up soon, so we should take advantage of the time to ourselves.”
