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I pointed to the chair. “Do you want to watch? Brynn and I bought a few toys. Maybe just sit and let me see you jack off.” I bit my lip, remembering how many times we’d watched each other. Typically, we ended up fucking, though. Spanking, nipple clamps, and anal beads. When we played, we played hard. When we made love, it was heart-to-heart. Nothing and no one existed in the world except us. They were the most intense and intimate moments I’d ever experienced.
My core pulsed with need. I was ready to do this—to try. It might take a while, but I was determined to take my life back.
Holden tugged his shirt over his head, then ditched his basketball shorts and boxer briefs. His thick, long dick bobbed free. He wrapped his fingers around his shaft, then handed me the bag and sat in the chair across from me. I discarded my top and jeans, revealing a waxed pussy. His focus transfixed on the clean skin.
Crawling onto the bed, I fluffed the pillows and propped up against them. The brown paper rustled, breaking through the silence of the room. I laughed as I removed a rabbit. Apparently, these vibrators were to die for. Ripping the package open, I located the batteries that were with the rest of the toys. It was then that I spotted the flavored lube. I tossed it to my boyfriend and smiled. Finally, I had everything ready. My attention returned to Holden as he opened the container and squirted the purple-colored liquid onto his palm. He stroked himself and pulled on the head of his cock. My tongue darted across my lower lip as I parted my legs for him.
I ran my fingers over my slit, watching his reaction.
“You’re wet,” he said, his eyes filling with need. “I’ve missed you.” His hand traveled up and down the length of him, and I sucked in a breath. He was sexy as fuck.
I turned on the vibrator and massaged my clit. “Oh,” I gasped as waves of pleasure coursed through me.
“Are you all right?” Concern flashed in Holden’s expression.
“You can’t keep asking me. It’s breaking the mood, baby.” I spread myself, allowing the toy to push against my opening. I focused on Holden’s slow and steady strokes as I eased it inside me, watching him as I gasped. Heat licked beneath my skin like a fire, and I picked up the pace.
“You’re so beautiful.” His voice was deep and raspy and did strange things to my insides.
“Holden,” I panted and pinched my nipple. “Can you … help me?”
Without any hesitation, Holden climbed onto the bed and guided the vibrator in and out of me. I grabbed his hair, encouraging him to continue. I rocked my hips to the rhythm and dug my nails into his back. Not once did I take my attention off him. I took his other hand and placed it on my breast. He rolled my nipple between his fingertips, and I arched into his touch.
“I want to taste you so bad,” he whispered against my ear.
I nodded.
“You gotta say it, baby. Tell me yes or no.”
“Yes, I just need to be able to see you.” That seemed to do the trick, and he paused while he moved to the end of the bed. His eyes darkened as his focus landed on my pussy. He guided the rabbit, then spread me apart with his fingers. He glanced up at me as he lowered his mouth to my bundle of nerves, then expertly sucked and nipped my sensitive skin.
Holden glanced up at me. “Seeing you writhe beneath me is making me crazy.”
He flattened his tongue and licked me, sending my body into a crazed frenzy. All the wonderful memories of us together came rushing back, outweighing anything else.
“Oh, God.” I bucked against him, clawing at his shoulders. “Harder.”
Holden moaned against my flesh, his teeth grazing my clit while he pounded me with the toy. “Baby.” My back arched off the mattress, and a raw, delicious heat spread through my body. Every part of me hummed with expectation and need, writhing and whimpering beneath his mouth. He thrust deeper and sucked harder.
I grabbed the pillow and bit the edge, stifling my scream as I shattered. Waves of intense pleasure drowned me as I came apart, my broken soul being remade at the same time. My heart was in Holden’s hands, and he handled it with extreme care while he breathed life into me again. His love was the healing balm I so badly craved. Overwhelmed with the emotions ripping through me, I cried out. “Holden.” A rush of tears consumed me as I shook beneath him.
He removed the rabbit and scrambled up the bed. “What is it?” He smoothed my hair, concern etched into his beautiful features.
I curled into him, sobbing. “Thank you. Thank you for not giving up on me,” I hiccupped.
“Oh, babe, I love you so goddamned much.” He wrapped his arms around me as I released the pain of Barrett’s assault—the shame, guilt, and hatred for myself.
I peered up at him beneath my wet eyelashes. “I love you, baby. Don’t ever doubt it.” I paused, then asked. “Do you have a condom?” Under the circumstances, there was no way I wanted to risk another pregnancy.
“Yeah.” Holden reached for his wallet on the nightstand and opened the foil wrapper.
He stroked my hair, then kissed my forehead. I threw my leg over him, feeling his erection. I rolled him onto his back and eased him into me. A moan escaped him as he slid in deeper. “If you’re not ready—”
I placed my fingertips against his mouth, silencing him. I rocked my hips, my sensitive bud rubbing against him. He sat up and wrapped my legs around his waist, penetrating me fully.
“How does that feel?” He gently thrust inside me.
“Like I’m home.” I smiled at him as we found our rhythm together. Taking and giving everything we had—every fear and every hope.
