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Holden looked up at me, tears in his eyes. I threaded my fingers through the back of his hair. “I love you, River. I’ve loved you since the first moment I saw you. I love your strength, your fight, your laugh, your compassion, your determination. Don’t you ever forget that you belong to me.”
I gasped, my core clenching his dick. His hot mouth closed over my breast, sucking on my nipple. He reached around and grabbed handfuls of my hair, gently pulling my head back and exposing my neck. His lips grazed the sensitive skin beneath my ear, and I shuddered. Holden reclaimed my body, reminding me that no matter what happened, I was his. He was mine.
“Jesus, you feel so good,” he whispered. He nipped me lightly with his teeth, moving his hips faster. His fingernails dug into my back, then trailed down to my ass cheeks. I wanted more. I wanted him to touch and lick every part of me, but I was afraid to push it. We were together, making love, savoring each other. There was plenty of time to play rough.
As if he could read my mind, Holden bucked as he tensed and moaned, pouring himself into me. He slipped his fingers between us, massaging my clit while he continued to move even after his release. Seconds later, I buried my face in his neck and muffled the noise as I climaxed. We sat still, holding each other, unwilling to let go. I pressed my palm to his muscled, hard chest, and felt his heart racing beneath my touch.
He covered my hand with his. “It beats for you,” he whispered.
I lifted my head and pressed my lips to his. “Your smile and laugh kept me sane while I was gone. All I could think about was telling you who was behind my kidnapping. My desire to protect you was stronger than anything. I’ve never felt that way about anyone. Ever.”
Holden pressed his lips to mine, and I smiled.
I draped my arms around his shoulders and kissed the tip of his nose. Hesitating, I realized I should bring up the conversation before Brynn did. “By the way, don’t be surprised if Brynn invites Reid to the sex club. I just didn’t want you to be taken off guard.”
“Fuck, are you serious?” Holden’s head hung down. “I don’t think that will go over well.”
“What do you mean?” I asked, massaging the back of his neck.
Chapter Twenty-Three
He turned toward me, a dark curl flopping into his eyes. “While you were gone, Chance told Brynn that he’s in love with her.”
“What!” I scrambled off him, plopping down on the bed. “She didn’t mention anything to me at all!” I fell back onto the mattress, exasperated. “What did she say? Why didn’t she …” I smacked my palm against my forehead. “I knew it. I knew she was holding back about something. It must have been about Chance.”
Holden laid down, then rolled to his side and propped his head up with his hand. “I love seeing you like this.” He trailed his fingertips between my breasts and down my stomach.
I snapped my fingers and grinned at him. “Stay on topic, Holden. Focus up here.” I pointed to my eyes and laughed.
His chuckle rumbled through his chest. “Chance never told us what she said.”
I scrunched up my nose. “Holden, from what she shared with me today … even if Brynn is in love with Chance, she has no intention of settling down. She wants to fuck, eat, travel, and have fun. She doesn’t want to have to make decisions for anyone else except what makes her happy. Honestly, I don’t blame her. She died, and if she needs to plan and play to help her beat cancer’s pathetic ass, I’m going to support her.”
Holden blew out a sigh. “We all will. We’ll give her anything she wants …” Holden held his hand up, his lips pursing. “I should clarify that statement. I won’t give her anything. I haven’t slept with Brynn in a long time.” He ran his fingertips down his body. “This is off limits to anyone except you.” He wiggled his brows at me, laughing.
I released a full-on belly laugh. There wasn’t any doubt in my mind that Holden loved Brynn, but he wasn’t in love with her. I had that piece of his heart. I did appreciate him clarifying, though.
“I trust you.” I toyed with the idea of telling him what Brynn had said about the group sex, but I chose not to. Unless I was asking to be with all of them, there wasn’t any point. “Brynn dropped her robe in front of me at the spa.”
“Doesn’t surprise me. She’s very confident with her body.”
“She’s beautiful. The only time I saw her was the first night you introduced me to the Master’s Playroom, and I couldn’t see her well. But today … I could see her ribs. She’s lost weight. We need to feed her as much as possible. Maybe some edibles or something. I hear pot is legal here.”
“It is. I’m sure we can have someone pick up some for her. She used an edible before she ended up in the hospital and it definitely worked.” Holden chuckled. “She ate a ton of food, then fucked Chance and Jace.”
“I wish I’d had more experience the way you all do. You’ve tried everything, including each other.” I snickered. “I feel a bit vanilla compared to everyone.”
“We’ve done a lot of things most haven’t.” Holden’s gaze dropped to the white-and-blue striped bedspread, and he pulled on a small thread. He looked at me again. “Do you want to experiment eventually?”
“I don’t know. I mean, I’ve wondered what it would be like to have a threesome. Brynn’s gorgeous and I love her, so if I mess around with a girl, it will be her. But Holden, I’ll never cheat on you. Please know that I’m simply talking this over with you because you’ve lived this full, exciting life that I haven’t. After Brynn talked about not settling down and doing what made her happy, it made me think. The one place I’ve not fully allowed myself to explore is with sex, but I’m not sure I want to, either. After everything I saw …”
Holden remained quiet as he rubbed my arm. “I know we’re at different places in that area, so if you decide you want to try a threesome, we can talk about it.”
“What if I wanted to be with Brynn? If she’s dying … I would want to grant her wish.” I swallowed, suddenly uncomfortable with what I’d shared. I could feel the blush creep up my neck and across my cheeks.
Holden reached over and plucked my nipple. I glanced down, his dick hard again. “Tell me what you want, baby. Would you want her to touch you here?” His hand worked between my thighs, and I parted them, allowing him better access. He massaged my bundle of nerves with his thumb. “Have you ever had a girl eat your pussy?”
“Baby, I didn’t say I would be with her, just that I was thinking about it because she might be dying.” As soon as I said it, I realized Holden was enjoying a fantasy. “No, I’ve never tried it.”
