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“Are you having flashbacks or nightmares?” I asked Reid.
“All the time,” he confessed. “Nights are the worst. I spent a lot of years alone in that cell … until you showed up.”
I glanced at Holden to see how he was dealing with the conversation. Pain flashed across his features the minute Reid mentioned the cells.
“I still don’t really understand why they put me next to you. At one time, you’d said the compound was nearly full and more people would arrive in our building, but …”
Reid shifted in his seat, appearing uncomfortable. “Not long before we were released, I overheard a conversation. I only recently wrapped my head around it, so I decided to keep my mouth closed.”
Frowning, I sat up. “What did you hear?” The anxiety infiltrated my veins, slithered into every part of me, and I squeezed Brynn’s hand for support.
Reid’s lips pursed together. “The compound had a lot of employees, and one day I overheard a few guys talking. Our situation had been planned, River. Apparently, they were counting on us becoming close. It was all part of the plan for when I trained you, broke you. I’d never trained anyone before, so they were gambling on the fact that I look like Holden.”
My mouth hit the fucking floor. “What?” I whispered.
“When I’d eavesdropped, I had no idea that I had a brother and how similar we looked. But you would have seen me and freaked. It was all head games. They excelled in breaking you mentally, then physically. That way they owned all of you.”
Holden shot out of his seat and across the room. The penthouse door slamming ricocheted in my ears. Jace hurried after him.
I rubbed my face. “It would have worked, Reid. The moment I saw you, it would have been like Holden hurting me. It would have broken both of us.” I closed my eyes, willing the tears not to fall.
“Maybe some of those details shouldn’t be shared with Holden,” Chance said. “I’m not trying to be an asshole, but Reid, River is the love of his life. He’d kill for her. The thought of what almost happened … it’s crushing him.”
Reid tossed his hands up in surrender. “It’s late, and I’m struggling myself. My social skills are lacking, unless it’s asking what you want sexually. I didn’t mean to mess with his head. I swear.”
“I know, man, but it takes a friend to tell us to think before we open our mouth sometimes.” Chance stretched his arm along the back of the couch.
Sitting up, I whispered in Brynn’s ear. “Holden is going to think our sex is to blame for my nightmare.”
A wistful expression twisted her beautiful features. “Dammit. I hate to say it, but it probably is.”
I shook my head, refusing to believe her answer. Holden and I had made progress last night. I refused for a stupid nightmare to rip it away. “I should find him.” I rose from the couch, dropping the blanket on Brynn’s lap. I hurried into our bedroom and grabbed one of Holden’s hoodies to wear over my pajama tank top. I swapped out the short bottoms for jeans, then slipped my shoes on.
Heading to the exit, I glanced at everyone. “I’ll be back. I’ll take the other bodyguard, so if someone knocks, don’t answer without checking who it is.”
“Yes, Mom.” Brynn gave me a playful salute and grinned. “Love you.”
I halted right before I left, my attention sweeping over my friends. “I love you guys, too. More than you’ll ever know.”
Chance blew me a kiss, but Reid remained still.
I flung open the door and stepped into the hall. “Hey, Vaughn. Do you know where the guys went?”
“No. Zayne said they would be back, and to stay with you,” Vaughn replied while his mismatched eyes landed on me.
“Can you help me find Holden? I need to talk to him.”
“Give me a minute.” He removed his cell from the inside pocket of his jacket, his fingers dancing across the screen. It was one of the few times I’d seen him in a suit instead of black pants and a Westbrook Security polo shirt. His phone vibrated within a few seconds. Vaughn focused on me. “They’re on the way back.”
“Okay. I’ll wait here with you.” I rubbed my arms, warding off a sudden chill even with the sweatshirt on. For whatever reason, when I was seriously stressed, I got cold. I leaned against the wall, thinking of what to say to Holden. I’m sorry was a given. Groveling was a given. Cutting my nails was even a good thing to do. I glanced down at the French manicure with pink tips, regretting my choice to get them.
Holden’s deep voice traveled down the hall, and I watched him, Jace, and Zayne walk toward us. Holden wore a green T-shirt, and I guessed he’d borrowed it from Zayne because when he’d hauled ass out of the hotel room, he hadn’t been wearing one. I chewed my lip, willing him to look over and see me. My pulse pounded in my ears. He was upset. I could tell by the rigid set of his jaw and the slump of his shoulders. Finally, he glanced up, his gaze focusing on me.
Holden said something to Zayne, then broke into a jog toward me. I hurried to him, stopping before I reached him. I wasn’t sure what to expect.
“Babe.” He gently kissed me. His lips left mine, and he cupped my chin, peering deep into my eyes, his expression determined and sincere. “I’m sorry I lost my shit. It had nothing to do with you. It fucking guts me to hear what you and Reid lived through.”
“I’m so sorry that Reid said that in front of you. Chance asked him to be more careful.” I reached up and touched the scratches on his face. “I must have thought you were Barrett.” My throat ached with regret. “I’ll have the nails trimmed tomorrow. I don’t want to hurt you again.”
