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Holden grabbed my hands and kissed my knuckles. “It’s okay. I know that Reid wasn’t trying to be a dick, but it’s hard to hear.” He tapped the tips of my fingers. “Don’t take the nails off. You really didn’t hurt me. I was more surprised than anything, and I couldn’t break through to you.” He wrapped his arms around me. “Let’s go back to the room. Even if we don’t sleep, we should at least try. Tomorrow is going to be a big day.”
Once we returned to the bedroom, I removed his hoodie and flung it on the chair. “We’re still having sex.” I climbed into my side of the bed. “For whatever reason, I’m horny as hell, and I need you. The more I see you, the more I associate a touch with you, the faster I’m going to move forward.”
Holden sighed while he slipped under the sheets next to me. “I’m afraid it might have triggered you. Maybe we moved too fast.”
“No. I refuse to believe that, just like I refuse to allow those monsters to come between us.” I placed my palm against his chest, smoothing his dark hair. “Please, Holden. Don’t pull away from me.”
He glanced down at me and played with a strand of my hair. “I don’t know what’s best for us, River. I don’t want to hurt you but reconnecting with you meant everything to me. When I’m stressed, I’m horny as hell, and I’m guessing that’s what’s happening with you, too. What you can’t do is use sex to hide from the real issues. You were kidnapped and assaulted. You have to give yourself some time to process.”
“What’s wrong with that, though? Being with you reminds me that I’m really home again. You’re my anchor, Holden. Don’t take it away from me.”
“I don’t want it to get in the way of you moving forward. That’s all. I know after I lost Hannah, I used sex to escape the pain.”
“As long as I’m with you, I don’t see a problem with it. If you won’t be with me, I can always use the vibrator, though.” I smirked at him.
“If you’re going to push the issue, then I won’t say no.” He smiled, but I didn’t miss the worry in his expression.
“Oh, shit.” My eyes widened as I pointed to the toy on the floor. “Everyone saw it.” I slapped my hand over my face, slightly horrified.
Holden chuckled. “They’ve seen it all before, don’t be embarrassed.”
“That’s easy for you to say.” I leaned my head against him again.
“Did you like it? The rabbit, I mean?”
I gazed at him and smiled. “Very much. In fact …” I hopped out of bed, retrieved the toy from the floor, and took it to the bathroom, where I washed it. I removed my pajamas, then leaned against the door frame, focusing on my boyfriend. “If you think making love to me triggered my nightmare, then this time you can’t touch me.” I sat in the chair and draped a leg over each arm.
“No touching at all? It’s hard not to lick your pussy, babe. Jesus, you’re hot. I think you’re enjoying torturing me.”
I wiggled my brows at him. “I would have to agree with that. I’m definitely having fun.”
Holden flipped the covers off and removed his clothes. He grabbed his cock and rubbed it.
“I miss the Master’s Playroom.” I turned the rabbit on, rubbing it against my swollen clit. “Are you going to rebuild it?” I tweaked my nipple for him.
“If you’re on board, yes.” His eyes darkened with need as he watched me slide the toy inside me. He moaned as he stroked his shaft.
“I want to try the vibrating anal beads. Will you fuck me with them?”
He gripped the sheets, bunching them beneath his fingers. His attention was glued to me as I picked up the pace with my new friend. Feeling more and more in control, I pinched my nipple. “I miss the clamps. I miss you spanking me like you did in the voyeur room.” I could feel the flush creep up my neck and cheeks. “Do you want to do that again, baby? Did you like spanking me while we watched the couple fuck?”
“I loved every minute of it. You were so fucking sexy bent over my lap, your ass pink from my hand.”
“I want to watch our friends next time … suck your cock while the guys fuck and lick Brynn.”
“God, that sounds good.”
I sank my teeth into my lower lip, imagining we were there again. Holden scooted to the edge of the bed while he tightened his grip on his dick.
“Holden,” I panted, squirming in my seat. “I need you to finish me off baby, then come on my tits.”
“Are you sure?”
“Very.”
Holden walked over, then knelt on the floor, taking control of the vibrator. He spread me apart, then licked my clit, sending delicious waves of ecstasy through me. “Your touch is fucking magic.” I gasped, surrendering to him.
Within seconds, glorious shivers wracked my body. I gripped the arm of the chair and chewed my bottom lip in order not to scream his name. As soon as I was finished, he straddled me. I grabbed his dick and sucked him, my tongue swirling around the tip.
