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“No! Not at all. But while you’re in a vulnerable and stoned state, I’m going to take advantage of it.”
“Not cool, babe.” She pointed at me, a silly grin on her face.
“I’ll ask for forgiveness later.” I rubbed the condensation on the outside of the glass with my thumb, scrambling to put my words together. “Who are you waiting for, then? If it isn’t Chance.”
Brynn quirked a brow at me. “I don’t like where this is going, River Collins.”
“You don’t have to, but I need to know. You have something great with both of the guys, and you would be lucky to settle down with either of them.”
Her green-eyed gaze narrowed at me. “Isn’t it acceptable to not commit to anyone or anything right now? I’m young, I’m dying. I think I’ve earned the right to do what I want and be happy.”
I blanched. “You don’t have to be dying to deserve to be happy, Brynn … but what are you not telling me?”
Brynn sat up and tucked my hair behind my ear. Before I realized it, she leaned over and pressed her soft lips against mine. She broke the kiss and peeked up at me. “The doctors don’t think I’m curable, River. I only have a small chance of beating it. The guys don’t know yet.”
I stared at her, my surprised and buzzed brain refusing to comprehend what she’d said. “Was this our goodbye kiss?” I choked on my words.
“No.” She leaned in and kissed me again, nipping at my bottom lip. “That was. I do love you, River. So much.”
I grabbed her wrist and panic seized me. “I love you, too, Brynn. I’m just not in love with you.”
“I know, babe. But if I don’t make it …”
I closed my eyes as our foreheads pressed together. “You needed to tell me like Chance told you,” I whispered.
“Yeah.” She pulled away. “I need to live like I’m not going to make it, River. Please, help me do that.”
“Brynn.” My chin wobbled, and I tugged her to me. “You have to fight. For me. Please.”
She nodded against my shoulder, clinging to me. “Don’t get me wrong, River. I do love Chance. Eventually, I could see myself settling down with him, but I don't think eventually is something that exists in my world anymore.”
The dam of grief broke—the final blow to my beaten and broken soul.
I stroked her red hair, cherishing these moments with my best friend. “What can I do to help, Brynn?”
She sat up, wiping the moisture from her cheeks. “You have to make me a few promises.”
“Anything.”
Chapter Twenty-Seven
“You can’t tell anyone what I shared with you, not even Holden.”
“Brynn, you’re asking me to keep a huge secret from him. We talk to each other about everything.” I took her hand in mine as the guilt stabbed me in the chest. I wanted to support her, and seconds ago I told her I would give her anything she wanted, and now I was taking a step back on my word. The pain in her expression broke me a little more.
“I know. I can’t tell them yet. Please give me the rest of this week. When I return to the hospital, I’ll have another round of chemo, then they’ll evaluate to see if it’s working or not. Please, it’s only a few more days.”
I nodded. I could give her that. “All right. What else?”
“Let me talk to Reid, and see if he wants to join in. He’s used to a lot of sex. For him, it might be a coping mechanism. Giving him a choice is helping him take his life back.”
“It’s not my decision, Brynn. He’s a grown man. I’m just protective of him is all.” I took my straw and stirred the remainder of the ice cubes in my glass. “Brynn, would you have told me if you weren’t stoned? I mean, about the chances of surviving?”
“I’m not sure. I wasn’t going to tell anyone at all, but you’re my best friend. It’s easier to talk to you.” She pulled at a thin thread on the black comforter.
“I get it. I feel that way about you as well.” I slid off the bed and stretched, attempting to wrap my head around what was happening. “I need another drink. Do you want to join us in the living room, or do you need some rest?”
“I’m good. I’ll sleep when I’m dead.”
