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“I realize she’s your best friend and you won’t betray her trust, so I want to make sure I get a good read on you when I ask this next question.”
I stilled and stopped breathing, waiting to hear where this was going.
“Was Brynn’s kiss a goodbye kiss?”
I froze. Dammit, Holden wasn’t upset she kissed me. He understood the meaning behind it. She’d kissed everyone goodbye when I was gone.
“Shit. You don’t have to answer, babe. You look like a deer in fucking headlights.” Holden backed away and sunk to the edge of the bed.
“I can’t confirm your suspicions.” I shoved my hands into my jean pockets, realizing I hadn’t said a word that had betrayed her, but I definitely needed to work on my poker face around Holden.
I sat next to him and slipped my arm through his. “I know she’s been obnoxious tonight, but we need to make sure she has the best week of her life. It sounds like Jace is taking care of the edible fiasco, but she has every intention of fucking Reid. And honestly, if he’s into her, then let them have fun. If Chance understood the situation fully, I think he would be supportive of her choices.” I focused on the floor for a moment.
“Is it a for-sure thing? The doctors can’t do anything else?” Holden’s voice caught in his throat.
I leaned my head against his shoulder. “You’re going to have to guess, Holden. I can’t betray her. Especially now. Besides, I feel like I already have.”
“You’ve not said a word, River. I’ve known Brynn for a long time. The moment she said it, I knew. I’m not sure Jace and Chance picked up on it. They might have looked at the kiss differently.”
“She did admit that she’s in love with me.” I peeked up at him. “I told her I loved her, but I wasn’t in love with her. And for the record, the kiss was sweet, not hot and heavy.”
The corner of Holden’s lips kicked up. “That’s too bad. If you had liked it …”
I sat up and playfully punched him in the arm. “I did like it, but I wasn’t going to tell you about it.”
“Oh, really?” Holden laid back on the bed, and I straddled him.
“Eventually, I probably would have. I don’t like secrets between us.” I followed Holden’s gaze and laughed. He had a full view down my shirt.
“I love the black lace.”
I rocked my hips against him, feeling his erection through his jeans. “It seems as though you do. Since you’ve figured out what Brynn was talking about, I move that we change the subject. I can’t deal with it right now. My mind is blown, and I desperately need to hop off the emotional roller coaster, even if it’s just for a little while. I vote that you distract me.”
He slipped his hand beneath my top, his fingertips skimming my skin. An uncontrollable shudder traveled through me. Holden cupped my breast through the material of my bra, his tongue darting across his bottom lip.
I raised up, pulled off my top, then released the clasp on my bra. He slid the straps down my shoulders and tossed it on the bed. He sat up, his mouth sucking on my nipple as he caressed the other one. I arched into him as my fingertips danced beneath his shirt and over his washboard abs and up to his chest.
“You should ditch the shirt and jeans. They’re in the way.” I giggled against his lips, then hopped off him, allowing us to wiggle out of our clothes. After he rolled on a condom, he laid back on the bed, and I crawled on top of him, positioning the tip of his cock at my entrance. Our eyes locked as I slid him inside me. His hands landed on my waist as I began to grind against him. Holden sat up and wrapped his arms around me, burying himself deeper inside of me.
“I love you, River.” He pressed his lips to my lips, silencing my response. His kiss grew more aggressive as we clung to each other, raw emotions revealing themselves once again. His mouth discovered my neck, his scruffy jaw gliding over my sensitive skin. Holden held my hips and slowly eased out and back in.
We found a gentle rhythm as we kissed and whispered, “I love you.” Losing myself in him, I focused on his touch and his citrus and wood scent. In those precious moments, I knew it was more than making love. It was healing my heart of the past, encouraging me to move on. Move on with him. There wasn’t anything in this world that I wanted more.
Holden’s pace quickened, and he dug his fingers into my back, triggering my release. My core clenched around him as I tensed, then gave in to the tidal wave of pleasure. Seconds later, Holden’s body tightened, and his eyes slammed closed as he climaxed inside me. I watched as he came down. “I love you, baby. More than you’ll ever know.”
He kissed the tip of my nose. “This is what I wish for Brynn. What we have. I don’t care who it’s with, but there’s nothing better in the world than having someone to share your life with and to love.”
I melted. “I feel the same about you.” I cupped his cheek and stroked his face with my thumb. Feeling happy that we’d connected without any flashbacks creeping into my mind, I grinned at him. I balanced my knees on the mattress, allowing Holden to slide out of me, then I giggled. “Looks like you’ve got the wet spot this time.”
Holden smacked me on the ass, laughing. It was the best sound I’d heard all day.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
I curled up in the corner of the penthouse couch, staring out the window, watching the rainfall. The rest of the week had flown by, and Brynn would head back to the hospital that day. The guys were all talking in our bedroom. I wasn’t sure about what, but I trusted that Holden would clue me in if needed.
“Hey,” Brynn said, the usual cheeriness missing from her tone.
“Hey.” I patted the seat next to me. “How are you doing?”
