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I was pretty sure I had a good idea, because my body was on fire, begging for a release, but I’d never had one, so I wasn’t sure what it felt like. If this was anything close, I would happily cooperate.
My core throbbed while Holden continued to lightly stroke my skin. Not once did he move lower, and although my hormones were encouraging him, I was grateful he was taking it slow. I needed time.
“Hey, man,” a deep voice from behind me said.
My head jerked up, spotting Chance in a stunning, dark silver suit, matching tie, and white shirt. Holden flattened his palm against my back and focused on his friend.
“You remember River?”
Chance’s brown eyes widened. “I do, but wow, you clean up nice.” He released a low whistle.
I was unsure of how to handle the new attention, and I hadn’t realized I’d scooted closer to Holden. “Thanks. It’s a new look for me, too.” I offered him a smile, pretending that I wasn’t feeling incredibly awkward.
“Are you ready?” Holden asked me.
I looked at him, locking in my mind’s eye the beauty of his face and the adoring gleam in his eye. Regardless of what happened between us in the future, I wanted to recall him like this forever. “For?”
His expression faltered, the tic in his jaw revealing how nervous he was. “To learn my secret.”
Chapter Nineteen
My hormones screeched to a halt as I remembered the real reason I was here. Holden was afraid his secret would send me running. My heart hammered against my chest, and my hands grew moist. One thing I’d never done was back down from a challenge, though. I’d excelled in school because of it. Maybe I needed to prove myself since I came from a shithole home, or perhaps it was a massive fuck you to my absent mom who left me with a sorry son of a bitch that thought my body was his property.
I drew in a deep breath, tipped my chin up, and squared my shoulders. “After you, Holden.”
His eyes flashed darkly, and I held his intense gaze with mine. He said it was my choice to stay or leave after tonight, so I was ready to find out what he was so afraid of me learning.
Holden stood and smoothed his white dress shirt. I gathered my crutches, my mind spinning scenarios from drug dealing to him housing the homeless. Fuck. I had no idea, but whatever it was, he was nervous as hell.
He shoved his hands in his pockets, then we followed Chance to the elevator. Zayne trailed a few steps behind us.
Sometimes my imagination was worse than the actual reality. At least that’s what I was trying to convince myself of as the elevator slowly lowered, then stopped. The doors whooshed open, and we exited. The stark white hallway nearly blinded me after the dark room upstairs.
Chance strolled down the corridor, then paused in front of a door.
“Zayne, please stay here.” Holden’s attention landed on me. “Remember, River. It’s your choice to accept my life or not. There’s absolutely no pressure.” He paused and massaged the back of his neck. “But I hope you can. I hope you stay.” His eyes pleaded with me, and my heart plummeted to my toes. Holden had accepted me as I was, and I hoped I could do the same for him, but I’d learned long ago never to make promises. Promises had been easily forgotten, broken, and had left my soul scattered across the floor in a million pieces. I never wanted to do that to someone I cared about.
“I appreciate the reminder.” I wanted to reassure him it would be all right, but I couldn’t say anything until I understood what was on the other side of the wall.
Chance moved out of the way and Holden approached the black box. A green light scanned his eye, then the lock clicked.
Little sweat beads formed on the nape of my neck, and my pulse throbbed wildly as we all entered a dimly lit hall. Doors lined each side as far down as I could see. Holden stopped at the second one on the right and grabbed the handle. He glanced at me, fear evident in his face.
“I’ll meet up with you in a few, Holden. And River, it’s always a pleasure. I hope to see you in a few minutes with Holden, but if not, I wish you all the best. You deserve it.” Chance leaned down and pressed a sweet kiss to my cheek.
My throat clogged up. No one had ever said that to me before. I hoped like hell I would be okay with whatever was on the opposite side, because I really loved my group of new friends.
I’d heard that we control our destiny, but I wasn’t buying it. My fate was in the hands of the unknown. My stomach churned and butterflies ran amok in my chest.
“Let’s do this,” I said.
Panic flashed across Holden’s expression, then it dropped away. “When we’re inside, I have to close the door, but it won’t be locked. You can leave at any time. I don’t want you to feel trapped.” Holden entered, and I followed. The small area glowed with soft blue light, and I immediately noticed how sparsely furnished the space was, with only a couch and lounger.
“This room is for observation.” Holden flipped a switch, and a hidden screen slowly slid up and into the ceiling, revealing a glass wall.
I gasped, my mind struggling to comprehend what I was seeing. “What the hell?” Although I was stunned, I couldn’t pull my attention away. The man who had been with the two girls upstairs was now in a room with a California king bed and both women. Naked. The platinum blonde backed up against the other, and the guy sat in a chair, watching and stroking his long cock. The dark-haired girl wrapped her fingers around the blonde’s throat, and the blonde moaned as the other chick pinched her nipple, then slipped her hand between her legs. The guy stood and joined them on the bed, sucking the blonde’s tits.
I tore my gaze away, horrified that I was witnessing people having sex. My brows knitted together. “Holden, what is this?”
