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He visibly swallowed and his forehead creased before he spoke. “River, I own the club upstairs, but I also own a membership-only sex club.”
My mouth opened and closed as I attempted to speak while I focused on the threesome. Hands groped and mouths licked and sucked while they continued like this was a normal thing for them.
I turned around. “So, you have a bunch of rooms for people to fuck and be watched in?”
He massaged the back of his neck, obviously nervous about my reaction. “This room is for voyeurism. Each room has a different purpose.”
Turning my back to him, I started toward the door.
Holden moved in front of me. “River, you have my word that everyone is here with full consent. They are required to sign a form before they’re allowed in. We also run a deep background check on everyone that applies for membership. I’ve never had any trouble. No one has ever been hurt or raped. It’s a clean operation and everyone has fun.”
As appalled as I should have been that this was Holden’s life, my G-string was soaked. Holden’s secret was my greatest fear … sex.
The man’s grunts from behind the glass pulled my attention back to the group. The dark-haired girl was riding him hard while the blonde sat on his face.
I ground my molars together. “I want to leave.”
Pain was etched into Holden’s features as he opened the door for me again.
I sucked in a huge breath and continued down the hall. Then I stopped and looked at him over my shoulder. “Show me more rooms.”
“River ...” Holden closed the gap between us. “Are you sure? If you have questions, I’ll answer anything you want to know. I’m an open book.”
“I want to see more, but how did this start?” I stared at my cast, angry with myself for being curious and feeling dirty for wanting to know. My heart and head were in a full-on tug-of-war between right and what I perceived as wrong. What I struggled to understand was that, if everyone consented, was it really bad? I also wondered how it would feel to be free of the fear and guilt associated with my past. To have safe and fun experiences.
“I don’t want to sound like a rich prick, but a group of us got really bored during high school. We’d tried it all: drugs, sex, dating, racing cars—you name it, we did it. We wanted a high without the drugs. One night, I talked to Jace, Chance, Brynn, Payton, and Sariah. There were a few others we were close to, but this is the group I started the sex club with. We agreed to screen applicants, but it had to remain secret and underground.”
“High school?” Disbelief clung to my words.
“Yeah, our freshman year, actually. I think when you have a shit ton of money, it’s all about the next thrill. Over time you can’t find it anymore. At least this way we were having sex with people we trusted with our health and life. That certainly wasn’t the case before I formed the group.”
Holden shoved his hand into his pocket, an apology flashing in his gaze. “I can’t let you into the other rooms while they’re occupied, but I can show you one more.”
A giggle floated down the hall, and a couple entered the room we’d just left. A pang of jealousy stabbed my chest. They seemed so comfortable with the idea of watching the threesome. They appeared free in their desire, and that wasn’t an opportunity I’d ever had.
“I want to see it.” A sharp prickle of anxiety rolled over me and I willed myself not to chicken out. Hell, I’d never even seen porn, and here I was watching people fuck right in front of me.
I counted ten more doors before we reached the one at the end of the hall.
Holden paused, his forehead creasing with worry lines. “Are you sure? You can’t go back from it, River. Once you see it, you can’t unsee it.”
Holy shit. It must be bad. “Are people being beaten in there or something?” I resisted the urge to shoulder check him and barge in, rescuing anyone that was being hurt.
“No. As I said, everything that happens here is consensual.”
A beat of silence hung in the air.
“Then let’s do this.” My tone didn’t hold as much conviction as I’d intended, but Holden opened the door anyway.
It took my eyes a minute to adjust to the low light, but it was stronger than in the hallway.
“What the fuck?”
Chapter Twenty
“This is our room. We call it the Master’s Playroom,” Holden explained quietly.
I lost my words as I noticed a naked woman strapped to a wheel. A blindfold covered her eyes, and she was smiling. She was spread eagle, and her wrists and ankles were tied to the platform.
