AllFreeNovel
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“I’m not sure I’m capable of being more than friends with benefits. But I feel safe enough to see if you can set me free from the cage that’s confined me most of my life. Sex has been my enemy, and I want that to change.”
“Are you asking me personally or are you wanting to join the club?” Holden ran a hand over his short hair.
A flutter of nerves and excitement shot through me. “Can we start with just us, then let me see how I do?”
He pierced me with his intense gaze. “Will you trust and allow me to open this new world for you? It can be more than sex. Let me take you out, buy you clothes, and be on my arm at events. I can give you anything you want. Sex, money, and connections to make all your dreams come true. All I’m asking for is a chance. Let me prove to you that my feelings are for you and have nothing to do with Hannah.”
My eyes widened.
“There’s one additional condition if you accept, River.”
“What is it?” I whispered, afraid to wake myself up from the dream I was obviously having.
“No sex with anyone else unless we agree on who we’re inviting into our bed. That goes for me too. If you want to experiment with a threesome, I’m fine with it, but not with someone that’s close to me.”
“That’s fair.” I reached up and touched his cheek. “Will you teach me what you like? Help me find out what I like?”
Holden kissed my palm. “Yeah.”
Anxiety pulled and twisted my insides. “This sounds like a relationship.”
“It is. I’ll give you everything you want—”
“In hopes that someday I’ll love you,” I finished for him, realizing that his need to be loved and accepted was as deep as mine. The only difference was that he was willing to give me his heart, but I wasn’t willing to give him mine yet.
“Let’s not complicate it.” Holden kissed me on the forehead.
I needed to see if he would honor his word and if my feelings ran deeper than I’d admitted. I did care about him, and the connection was there, but I wasn’t clear about the reason behind it. Until we had more time together, I was okay with him on these terms.
“All right. I’m in.”
“One more thing,” Holden said. “When you’re at any club, whether it’s with me or other people, you need to wear the collar.”
My brow shot up. “Collar?” I was completely confused.
“The necklace Brynn gave you with the diamond H on it. It’s a collar that brands you as mine.”
I sucked in a breath. Something was definitely wrong with me. His comment should have pissed me off, but instead, I felt safe and protected for the first time in my life. “Is that what you want?”
His deep brown eyes searched my face. “Yes. I want you for myself.”
“Since you explained that it protects me from others, and you’ve been up front about your feelings and intentions, I’ll wear it.”
“Say it, River. Say you’ll be mine.”
My core pulsated at his words. Holy shit, this was hot.
I propped up on my elbow and leaned into him, our lips nearly brushing. “I’m yours.”
Holden groaned, then pressed his mouth to mine in a tender kiss. “You taste so sweet.” He pulled away and leaned his forehead against mine.
“Please be patient with me, Holden. I have a lot of flashbacks. Sometimes I can still feel Dan’s grubby hands on me, pinning me down.”
Holden’s nostrils flared. “He’s gone. He can’t ever hurt you again. Now you’re under my protection, babe. If anyone wants you, they’ll have to go through me.”
A flutter of nerves and excitement filled my stomach. I hadn’t ever had the opportunity to feel safe. It was funny how safety seemed like an opportunity to me rather than a right.
“Do I have your permission to kiss and touch you without asking every time?”
