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Chapter Twenty-Three
Over the next four weeks Holden kept his word and refused to rush sex between us, even though I continued to reassure him that I was ready. Instead, we made out like horny teenagers, and although my heart was still torn, he was winning me over with his continual efforts. Each time he said he would do something, he followed through. He was always punctual, answered my calls, and reassured me that we could make this work.
Holden was also full of surprises and showered me with flowers, chocolates, diamond earrings, or his black American Express card to shop with Brynn. The gestures were fun, but his actions were all the proof that I needed.
The evenings were my favorite time with him, though. Most nights we snuggled up and watched movies, talked, and laughed. At times, we would share about what we wanted in the future. His future included me. The fact that he saw me in it was shocking, but those moments had worked their way into my heart. I hadn’t really talked about my dreams with anyone before him because I’d never had any goals other than college. Dan had snuffed out any hope that I’d ever escape that life and could make my dreams a reality. But not Holden; he was helping me rebuild them. Although I’d fought it, my feelings for him had turned into something so deep I didn’t have a name for them. Maybe it was love.
Even though I was getting to know Holden better, there were moments that I was still skittish, and I struggled not to relive the awful years with Dan. My brain knew Holden wasn’t Dan, but some days I couldn’t separate my feelings. When I talked to Brynn about it, she explained to me that I most likely had PTSD. She and I were also growing closer. For the first time in a long time, I felt as though I had a chance to live and not just survive and tread water. But I was constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Weekends were filled with Brynn, Jace, and Chance. Although it was super awkward after I saw them at the club, I finally adjusted to the idea that I knew what they looked like underneath their clothes. I’d never admitted it to anyone, but I was attracted to Jace and Chance as well as Holden. I brushed it off as exploring my options, but in the back of my mind, I understood that it was a safety net if Holden and I fell apart.
On the days Holden was at college and I was home alone, I began my research on Holden’s family. Oddly enough, the Alastairs were difficult to find information on, but I wasn’t the best at digging, either. There wasn’t any news on Hannah, which bothered me. I found articles on Mallory and Holden for sports, college acceptances, and other minor things. I was only searching for them because I was curious. When Becky had attacked me, she said the Alastairs, which led me to believe there was something off about Mr. and Mrs., not the kids. When I asked Holden more about their careers, he explained they had started their financial company years ago and were now working with businesses around the world. He finally admitted that he didn’t know much, either. I thought it was strange, but it didn’t seem as unusual if you rarely saw them.
“Are you ready for tomorrow?” Holden asked as he played with my hair.
I rested my head in his lap while my cast was propped up on the arm of the couch.
“So ready. I wonder if it will feel strange. I mean I haven’t walked on this leg for six weeks.” I glanced at it and laughed. One evening, after several drinks, Holden, Jace, Chance, and Brynn had made the cast a work of art. Before Holden finished his awful sketch of a bridge, he licked and nipped the inside of my thigh. My neck and face flamed red in front of everyone. When I asked him about it later, he chuckled and said he was just reminding his friends who I belonged to. I wondered if it came from a place of pride or jealousy. I might have been okay with both.
“We should celebrate.” Holden slid my finger into his mouth, his skilled tongue driving me insane as he licked and sucked on it.
“I can’t think straight when you do that,” I groaned. “Did you say something about celebrating?”
A low chuckle rumbled through his chest. He laid a hand on my stomach, then his fingers slipped beneath his football jersey I’d thrown on earlier.
“What would you like to do?” His eyes darkened with need as he traced small circles on the swell of my right breast. I had to admit my boobs looked phenomenal in the new bras Brynn had helped me pick out.
Holden moved the lace material to the side and pinched my nipple. “What are my choices?” I arched into his touch, my greedy body wanting more.
“You haven’t mentioned going back to the club, so I haven’t brought it up again. But if you just want to dance and drink, we can go anytime, River. I would love to show you off.” A playful smile eased across his face, his brown eyes flickering with mischievousness. “It would be good for you to get out of the house. Doctor’s appointments don’t count.”
Holden located my other breast and he cupped it, then raised my shirt.
“How long are we going to mess around without having sex?” A little whimper escaped me as he massaged my boob more firmly.
“I’m waiting for the right time.”
“Yeah? I think we have a difference of opinion on what the right time is.” I smirked, then pulled his sweater up and dotted kisses over his lower abs and to the waist of his jeans.
I continued to tease him as his head fell back on the couch and a soft moan escaped him. Fumbling with his button and zipper, I finally freed his thick erection from its prison.
I peeked up at him as I ran my tongue along the tip of his cock. “Does that feel good?”
“Shit,” he hissed. His hand traveled down to the inside of my thigh while I slicked him up with my mouth, then hollowed out my cheeks.
“Fuck!” His head shot off the couch and he thrust into my mouth. “When did you learn that?”
I giggled but continued. It wasn’t polite to talk with my mouth full. Rolling over, I gave him my undivided attention and worshipped every inch of his dick. I wasn’t sure if I was in love with Holden, but I was definitely addicted to this part of him.
“Sit up, babe.” Holden gently nudged me away.
I did as he asked.
“Take off your shorts,” he growled.
While I shimmied out of the rest of my clothes, Holden stepped out of his jeans, then tossed his sweater on the floor.
“Scoot up,” he ordered.
