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“It’s much more fun watching you eat.”
“Thanks for making me self-conscious about it.”
He smiles again but turns his attention when James approaches.
“Harris is on a call for you, sir,” James tells him.
Rafe says to me, “You’re welcome to finish lunch here or go wherever you wish. I’ll find you later.”
I finish lunch by myself, then decide to go back to my room to shower off. I start to get antsy about my situation again, about not getting through to Peter. I start considering more desperate or outlandish situations, like bribing one of the security guards, though there’s nothing I can really tempt them with.
The only people here I can think of who may not be loyal to Rafe or part of the triad is the lady who brings me breakfast and doesn’t speak English, and maybe the servers at dinner. I could slip the breakfast lady a note, but what if she shows it to the wrong person? Then again, what can Rafe do? He can’t kill me until he gets the Morelli. He could torture me, but maybe that’s a chance I should try to take?
There’s also Aiko and Jade. Are they part of the triad, too? Do they know that Rafe is? Maybe I should try to find out. Jade speaks English. Maybe she could help me. But how am I going to get close enough to her to feel her out? What’s my excuse to interact with her? Rafe won’t believe I really want the autograph of a porn actor.
But maybe Iwouldwant her to give me pointers about sex and BDSM. Although I’m curious about BDSM, I’m not ready to incorporate it into my sex life beyond what I’ve already had to experience with Rafe...but I can pretend that I’m interested. It might prove to be a dead end, but I don’t have a lot of options.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
After I put on a pairof breezy linen pants and an off-the-shoulder blouse, and wrap my hair in a loose bun above my head, I decide to walk through the art galleries again while I go over in my head all the possible things that could have happened toRaging in the Mountains. It’s a pointless exercise because I can’t think of what could have happened except that maybe Alessandro is lying. But would he really try to double-cross Rafe?
I wander back into the library and decide to read more about John Rabe. It’s somewhat comforting to me to know that a member of one of the most destructive parties in Western history could be a humanitarian hero, that we can find humanity in dark places
Rabe worked for Siemens AG in China and was a Deputy Group Leader of the Nazi Party. As the Imperial Japanese Army advanced on Nanking, Rabe and other foreign nationals established the Nanking Safety Zone to shelter Chinese refugees. Using his Nazi credentials, Rabe appealed to the Japanese to cease their atrocities. He was successful in delaying some of their actions When he returned to Germany he shared films and photographs of what he had witnessed. he wrote to Hitler asking the Nazi leader to intervene and stop further violence. In response, Rabe was interrogated by the Gestapo and told not to lecture on the subject again.
After the war, Rabe underwent lengthy denazification and was not permitted to work during that time. With his savings depleted, he and his family lived in a one-room apartment. His kids subsisted on seeds and dry bread. In 1948, when citizens of Nanking learned about his situation, they raised money and sent him food packages.
Rabe died of a stroke in 1950. His former residence in Nanking was restored and is now a memorial.
While I find Rabe’s biography both heartbreaking and inspiring, I have to be careful not to draw too much from it. From what I can tell, though Rabe was a part of a larger organization that murdered millions, he did not directly lift a hand against another. It doesn’t absolve him of responsibility, but Rafe Lee is still different.
Rafe has direct blood on his hands.
I can try to paint him in a better light. Maybe Rafe only deals with and kills criminals. But what about the family of the assembly member? What about me? I’ve got to be crazy to be sleeping with a killer, coming for him like his obedient pet.
Feeling myself veering into depression, I hop to my feet. Having sex with Rafe feels like I tacitly approve of who he is and what he does. A part of me feels like Rafe isn’t all bad, but I don’t have any evidence that my hunch is correct. And even if he’s not all bad, he’s bad enough.
