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Rather than press for an explanation, I remain quiet and patiently wait.
He fills in the silence. “I became a gangster to avenge my family’s honor and succeed where my father failed.”
Family honor is not a concept I grew up with. It almost seems old-fashioned to me, but I get that it’s still valued in many other cultures. I almost envy it, being a part of something bigger than one’s self.
“What did your father fail at?” I ask.
Rafe’s jaw tightens. “Making the Matsudos suffer.”
“For stealing the family heirloom?”
“For raping my mother.”
I knit my brows in confusion. “I thought Matsudo’s father raped your grandmother?”
Rafe smiles sardonically. “Can you believe it? Twice in one family.”
I gasp. “You’re kidding.”
“When my mother was twenty-nine, my great aunt—her sister—became very sick. My mother traveled to Tokyo to see if Haruto’s father would help pay for his daughter’s medical expenses. She had a meeting with Haruto Matsudo, and he raped her. But this was before the reforms of two-thousand seventeen. Prior to that, the laws in Japan regarding sexual assault hadn’t changed in a hundred years, and rape had a limited definition. Matsudo’s anal penetration of my mother didn’t qualify as rape. He painted her as a liar, saying that she went up to his hotel room to extort him for money. She wasn’t able to see him prosecuted. A few years later, she committed suicide.”
I cover my mouth. I don’t have words to speak anyway.
“My father tried to take the law into his own hands. He was shot dead by one of Haruto Matsudo’s bodyguards.”
“How old were you?”
“Seven.”
“Oh God.”
“My father told me that if anything happened to him, I should seek out a distant relative, an older cousin who was a vanguard in theJing San.My cousin took a liking to me and hired me as his page. He brought me to the States with him. I learned that theJing Santakes care of their own. When a member of theJing Sanis harmed, retribution follows. What happened to my family is mine to avenge, but thanks to theJing San,I am in a better place to execute it. Reclaiming the jade figurine of Madame Yang is only the beginning, but it’s the one I care about most.”
I feel awful. What a tragedy to happen to his family. It doesn’t excuse his life of crime or the taking of other lives, though.
“Must be tough to have to carry all that, especially starting at such a young age,” I say softly.
All of a sudden, Rafe grabs my wrists and pins them over my head as he rolls on top of me. “I don’t need your pity.”
“What’s wrong with pity?” I return. “What happened to your family should never happen to anyone. No child should have to lose their parents the way you have.”
He stares deep into my eyes. “You shouldn’t feel bad for me. I might have you killed in a few days.”
Instead of feeling intimidated, I feel angry. “You’re right. I shouldn’t feel bad for you. But I do. Because I’m a kind and caring person. I couldn’t do what you do.”
His eyes are a swirl of emotions that includes anger. Staring into their depths, I realize I probably should’ve kept my mouth shut.
