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“Are you…?”
“Pregnant, yes,” I say, with a smile.
I wonder how he’ll take the news.
Will he be angry? Will he be happy?
Will he want out?
But either way, if there is one thing I know for certain, it’s that this baby is my priority, no matter what.
For a moment, the world seems to stand still as I watch his face register surprise, disbelief, and finally, a dawning understanding.
He gazes down at my belly, his hand reaching out tentatively to caress its curve, and I can see a thousand emotions whirl through his eyes.
"Are you sure?" he asks, his voice barely a whisper.
I nod, my own eyes filling with tears as I see the conflict in his expression.
"Six months," I say quietly, watching as he processes the information.
"I found out after we... after that first night before we were married."
He looks back up at me, his brow furrowed.
"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" he asks, his voice tense with a mix of hurt and confusion.
"I was scared," I admit, my voice thick with emotion.
"Scared of what this would mean for us, for our families, for the baby... But it's not something I can hide any longer, Anthony. It’s time we just had a difficult conversation. I ran away not because I don’t love you, but because I was petrified of raising a baby within the mafia. What kind of violence would our child witness, endure? What enemies would have him or her as a target on their list? But then, when I ran and came here, I started thinking. Is this the right life for us? For my baby and I? For my baby to never know a father or an uncle. To never have a sense of community and people to love. For it to be just me and our baby - all alone in this world. What if something happens to me? The child would have no father, no extended family. So, the truth is, I am happy to see you today. Because I just don’t know the right way forward anymore. I thought I knew best, but now I know nothing.”
His eyes search mine.
He comes closer, takes me in his arms, and gently soothes me by running his hands through my hair.
For the first time in weeks, I feel like I am calming down.
Like I belong back home.
“My love,” says Anthony, giving me a gentle kiss on my forehead, while simultaneously placing a hand on my belly.
“I promise you that together, you and I will keep our child safe. I will move heaven and earth to do so, to ensure we change the way our mafia family functions. If our child wants to go down another path, so be it. I can’t promise much, but I do promise that from this moment on, I will begin to legitimize businesses. I will take over from my father as Capo. I will make peace with the enemies that can be made peace with, shun those that can’t, and never make an enemy again. Trust me. We’re in this together.”
As Anthony's arms encircle me, his warmth seeping into my very bones, I can feel the tight knot of fear and uncertainty in my chest begin to loosen.
“Oh, Anthony,” I gush. “That is much more than I expected.”
"Have you found out the gender yet?" Anthony asks gently, his voice low and tender as if he's afraid to break the fragile peace surrounding us.
I shake my head, a small smile tugging at the corner of my lips.
"No, not yet. I've been waiting for the right moment. I guess I was hoping that... that we could find out together."
His eyes soften, brimming with love and concern, and he nods in agreement.
"Yeah, I'd like that," he says, giving my hand a reassuring squeeze.
"When are you due?"
