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This is my new reality, and I am not going to let it break me.
I will do what needs to be done and wait until I can finally leave and start my life away from my father's control.
With that new determination, I turn and head out of the hotel room and make my way down to the front door where I know a car will be waiting for me.
It's an outdoor ceremony, which is fine with me.
I am just thankful it isn't in a church.
I'm not against religion, but I just don't want to feel trapped in a physical sense.
I know a priest is going to be there to officiate the wedding, a friend of Anthony's family apparently.
There is a serious sense of irony that the mafia family is close friends with a man of God.
I'd imagine the poor man never gets to leave the confessional booth for very long.
I was never one for church.
The pews were always so hard and uncomfortable, and there was always a slight chill in the air.
I had always wanted a more intimate feel for my wedding.
Something small and simple on a beach, and a church wedding is the exact opposite of that.
So I am thankful we are outside.
I just wish I knew what it is going to look like and that there won't be so many people.
I mean seriously, there are forty people in our wedding party, forty, which in my opinion is thirty-six too many.
There is no point in fighting about it.
That ship has sailed.
I get to the lobby and see that there is a black town car already there for me.
My father had said he wanted me to have a limo, but I shot that down quickly.
I am going to the wedding ceremony by myself.
I don't need some big fancy limo to sit in.
Typically, I would be getting ready with all of my bridesmaids, but that is the last thing I want to deal with.
No one knows what my dress looks like, and I don't want to deal with any judgmental looks or comments about it.
I have picked out a simple a-line style with a strapless sweetheart neckline.
It is white, and there are some crystals around my neckline and waist, but that is it.
It is very simple and not my dream dress, but it is beautiful, and I know it will match whatever decor is used for the wedding and reception.
The rehearsal dinner, everything was black and blue, so I don't know if that theme will continue with the actual wedding or not.
Some wedding planners match them, and others have them set as two different styles.
Part of me is curious to see what it will all look like, but it is more from natural curiosity and not excitement.
