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I set my alarm for eight (over achiever; I know) and now I couldn’t remember what I had planned to do. I was falling behind on my reading list and I don’t think I’ve worked out in a month or two. A walk. I should probably just start with a walk. Slow and steady wins the race. Alyssa floated into the kitchen as she yawned loudly. Her face was bare, her lashes still thick, and her lips a soft pink. If I stared hard enough, I could make out the silhouette of her curvy, naked body under her sheer robe.
I didn’t.
“Good morning. Working today?” Her voice was cheery, as usual. The total opposite of her husband to be.
“No. I’m going to walk around the beaches. Maybe even snap a few photos.” I blinked a few times and shifted in the barstool.
“That sounds like fun. There’s some beautiful Piers just down the road here on Marina Ave. Crystal Cove is another good place.” She leaned over the breakfast bar, her black hair brushing off her shoulder and around her chin.
“Yeah, my mom talked everything about Crystal Cove.” I fiddled with the mug, making a clacking sound against the counter. She nodded her head, sipping her coffee. Her breasts gently swayed over the counter with her movements.
“Did you know my mom? Hannah?” I tilted my head, running my hand through my messy mop top.
She nodded her head, leaning back. “I knew Hannah. She’s a little older than I am.” The room went quiet for some time, but I steered the conversation back to photography.
“Do you know a specific spot to photograph birds? Or maybe wildlife? The kind that won’t kill me.” I laughed and ran a hand through my hair again.
“I think Crystal Cove, for birds. Just make sure the camera you’re using is low light with a good auto focus.” She crooked an eyebrow at me, as if testing my knowledge.
“Well, I would give anything to have the Nikon D500 camera but… college, you know?” I raised my hands in surrender and she laughed. My face burned.
“I have the D850 model, and I love it. I just started feeling inspired again, myself.” She sighed, and the giant diamond on her finger sparkled in the sunlight.
“Interesting.” I said, the kitchen going quiet again.
“What inspires you, Jeno?” She moved around the counter, grabbing a loaf of bread and loading two pieces into the toaster.
“I like to read. Mostly fantasy and mystery, some non-fiction. I like music a lot. It sounds silly, but I love Lady Gaga and her videos. She’s a cinematography genius.” I raised my eyebrows, screaming at myself inside my head because I just said I liked Lady Gaga. Out loud.
“Lady Gaga, huh? That’s cute.” She buttered her toast as if I had just told her about the weather. She was cool.
She left the kitchen and walked down the hallway to the stairs.
My head was fucking pounding.
I didn’t even try to open my eyes because I knew. I drank an entire bottle of Jack and was completely naked. Switching between rock music and porn, I drank my night away. Shot by shot, orgasm after orgasm.
Empty.
I started having sex young. I started having sex with boys even younger. I was told exploring was dirty, wrong, and inappropriate. I came into puberty like a rocket ship. And man, did I enjoy the ride.
But orgasms felt empty, and time was just passing me. I needed more. I wanted to connect with someone on a deeper level than just sex. I was always so afraid of being left, that if I left first— they didn’t have the chance to. It was hard to forge a deep connection with the females my age. Too hung up on dick size and sun signs, not having experience in either.
Was it Leo that I wanted to feel something deeper with? Was it him that has made me feel this way? Friendship was a good starting place for any relationship. If a girl ever seemed super laid back and chill, I ran. If I felt that friendship vibe, along with an attraction; I ran faster. I could have conversations with people and feel like they never heard a word I said. Girl after girl, friend after friend.
Alyssa made me feel like she was listening. I saw her take those photos of me early the other morning. I let her, though. I wondered what she saw in me that was so captivating. It made me want to look deeper inside, just to verify it. Never in my life have I been so fucking fixated.
Wanting to crack her code, see her from the inside out. I wanted to know about her trauma and her past. What it felt like to be the perfect rich girl, running around the beaches of California with endless amounts of money. I wanted to bury my face in between her luscious ass cheeks. Followed by my cock.
I could flirt and be mean to her. Have some more fun. I owed it to Leo to clarify our relationship. Our friendship was too important to me. And I needed to do it soon. A soft knock at the door forced my eyes open. I rubbed my face and flung the duvet to cover my bare ass.
“Yeah?” I yelled, my voice hoarse.
“It’s Alyssa, can I come in?” Her voice was soft through the door. I didn’t respond right off. My head was all fucked up, and now was a terrible time for her to be in my bedroom. A terrible and a very hard time.
“Go away.” I called, irritation in my voice.
“I have food and water. I know you want both, because everyone saw you bring that bottle of Jack upstairs with you.” It sounded like she had her mouth pressed to the crack of the door. It made me chuckle.
