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Still—fuckingstill—I have to remind myself what was real and what wasn’t. What I thought was going on was just a smokescreen.
Her eyes, the color of blue Milkweed flowers, travel my new body, too. Even from across the room I can feel their exploration as if she’s right here in front of me, using her fingers instead of her eyes.
Goose bumps break out across my skin, spreading like Ivy.
Lex moves a book from her lap over to a table.
Images of me using that same lap as a book holder fill my head before I can stop them and my heart picks up speed.
“How’d you find me?” she asks first.
“I made friends.”
She lifts her eyebrows like she’s impressed.
Or unconvinced.
“Me, too.”
My gaze immediately goes to the bed. It’s big enough for two people but there’s no one in it. I study the attached bathroom next. The light’s off. I don’t know why that makes me happy.
It doesn’t mean she’s not with somebody. She could be.
My heart beats even harder, thrashing violently against my ribs.
Lex is watching me, those blue eyes seeming to pick up on my every thought.
I focus on the tank next to her chair. It’s smaller than her last one, and from what I can tell, doesn’t contain a shark.
I didn’t even realize she liked her old fish tank enough to get herself a new one.Another thing I failed to pick up on.
“No more shark?”
Her head shakes in my periphery. “No more sharks.”
Right. Sharks. The men she worked with. The man she had a baby with.
“Where’s your kid?”
“Not here right now.”
I meet her stare.
Why isn’t her kid here? Because she was expecting me? Expecting this? She knew I’d be pissed. She knew I’d come looking for answers.
She knew me so fucking well. She just didn’t love me.
“Are those for me?” Keeping eye contact, she nods down at the flowers in my hand.
My fist tightens around the stems. I forgot I had them. I forgot everything…except her. I could never forget her. No matter how hard I tried, she was all I thought about.
Lex gets up from her chair, the blanket falling soundlessly to the floor, and wanders right up to me, taking the Lilies from my hold without touching any of my skin with hers.
A lump forms in my throat and I fight to swallow it down.
It’s been over two years since I’ve even laid eyes on a woman. Being this close to one again, being this close tothiswoman, all I want to do is see what she feels like.
“Lilies?” she guesses correctly, inspecting the orange petals. “What do they mean?”
