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Dad:I was wondering if we could catch up. I’m in town.
Me:Sure. Where?
I pull up to Mom’s house to find Dad sitting on the front porch. I haven’t seen him in a few years in person. We rarely talk or text. He looks up when I shut my car door, at first hopeful, then his brows furrow.You don’t get to be surprised I’ve gotten hurt without you, Dad.Dad. Do I still call him that? Yes, he raised me, but he isn’t my father, Rhett is. And he left.I roll my shoulders back and start toward him.
“Lucy, shit.” He stands, taking in my tired, yet defiant appearance. “Your mom said you were pretty banged up, but I guess I wasn’t prepared for what you would look like. Are you okay?” I want to yell at this man. I want to cry. Blood to me or not, he’s all I’ve ever known—he should’ve been here.
“I will be, no thanks to anything you’ve done,” I snipe at him. It’s in that instant I see him pale.The truth hurts, doesn’t it?I don’t care. He certainly didn’t when he left. So why now? He doesn’t take his eyes off me.
“I’m so sorry, Lucy. I shouldn’t have left. No matter what was going on with your mom and me. I hope you can forgive me. I understand if you need time. Take it, take all the time you need, and I’ll be here.” He seems sincere, but my temper roars to life.
“So, the world finds out you’re not my dad, Rhett is, the whole ugly secret is out and all of a sudden you want to come back—why? He finally claims me as his and you don’t want to let that happen. Do you think Rhett will be the dad I deserve? Is that what this is? A competition to see who is better?”Shit, I showed weakness to the first man who broke me, the one who wasn’t supposed to…ever.My vision becomes blurry with tears and as I take another step forward, they spill over. Of course, I love Steve. He’ll always be my dad—even though he’s not, biologically. It’s in this moment I realize I love Rhett too. And my heart is big enough to love them both. But it also dawns on me, theybothhurt me, and even if I want to have good relationships with each of them, can I? Is there too much trauma to my heart? My trust issues run deep. I was an embarrassment for one and a secret for the other.
Steve steps toward me and reaches for me but I step back. He drops his hands and turns his sad, gray eyes to the ground. “Lucy, I’ve always loved you. That never changed and it won’t…not ever. I was so stupid to leave you…leave my family. I should’ve been a man, the one you thought I was. In my heart, you’ll always be my little girl.” He has tears running down his clean-shaven face. He runs his hand over the facial hair he keeps neatly trimmed around his mouth and chin.
Wait, he said he’d be here. What does that mean?“What do you mean you’ll be here? Don’t you have to get back to your life in Murfreesboro?”
He shakes his head. “No. I’ve been doing some soul searching and I’m moving back. Your mom and I, we’re going to try to be friends and start off slow—see if there’s still something there for us. It’s why I wanted us all to talk. But I had to talk to you alone first.”
What?My head is spinning now. He must notice I’m feeling a little lightheaded because he moves closer, concern coloring his face. Why would Mom let him do this? He left her too. “Why are you doing this? You couldn’t forgive her for what she did! And you couldn’t forgive me either for not being your blood!”
I turn on my heel and head back to my car. I feel him close behind me. “Lucy, don’t drive while you’re upset. I’ll back off and let you process all this.” I stop but don’t turn to face him. The sobs erupt from somewhere deep inside my chest and before I know it, I’m falling to my knees, hands covering my face. Dad kneels down with me and wraps me in his arms. I bury my face in his neck like I used to when I was little, and he was the only one who could calm me. He strokes my hair, gently rocking me.
I don’t know what this means. I don’t know if I forgive him. I want to. But right now, the little girl in me, needed this hug from her daddy despite what he’s done to hurt me, so I hold on to it for dear life.
“Rhett, it’s Phoebe. I won’t keep you, but I wanted to let you know Steve’s back—he’s moving back home. He wants to try and fix his relationship with Lucy. I thought you should know.” I hold my slim cell phone to my ear, clenching my teeth. I want to be angry. Lucy’smydaughter, not his. I’m finally starting to break through her walls soshe and Ican have a father-daughter relationship. But the logical side of my brain takes over, reminding me Steve, did in fact, raise her when I couldn’t. I would never try to interfere in their relationship. I can only pray Lucy has room in her heart for me too.
“I appreciate you letting me know. Did he come back for you as well?” I can’t help but ask, knowing it’s none of my business. I have no interest in Phoebe, but sheisthe mother of one of my children, so I care about her well-being.
“I, uh, Rhett, I don’t know. I think he wants to try again, but I’m not getting my hopes up. Lord knows I love the man, but he nearly destroyed me when he left me and Lucy. I’m not sure I trust him. Not entirely, anyway.”
“Well, you deserve the best, so I hope he can give it to you this time.” I glance up from my desk in my home office to see Rayna staring at me with those beautiful green eyes, filled with questions.Rayna is a saint. She’s always been more than I could ever deserve. She’s forgiven me, but I see doubt cloud her eyes from time to time. And who could blame her? Even if what happened between Phoebe and I was a one-time occurrence, the sting of betrayal hurts just as bad. We’re still in marriage counseling, and I’ll do that and more to prove to her she’s the only one for me—to try and heal the pain I caused her.
“Thanks, Rhett. I hope things are going well for you and Rayna since the truth came out. Anyway, like I said, I just wanted to let you know about Steve since you and Lucy are trying to work on getting to know each other better—as father and daughter.”
I hold Rayna’s stare. “I appreciate you letting me know. Thanks for calling.” I hang up the phone, eager to try and explain why I’m talking to the woman I stepped out with. She loves Lucy and wants me to have a relationship with her. She wants to be closer with her too. She says she forgives Phoebe, but I can only imagine how she feels about her, forgiveness or not. Guilt still eats at me. Rayna says she’s forgiven me, but have I forgiven myself?
“That was Phoebe. She wanted to let me know Steve is moving back.”
Rayna blinks a few times. “What does that mean for you and Lucy? I think you’re finally breaking through to her a little.” I run my hand over my mouth and let out the breath I was holding.
“I don’t know. I hope Lucy has room for us both.” I smile at Rayna sadly. She closes the space between us and turns my chair to face her. She slides onto my lap, one leg at a time, straddling me. I wrap my arms around her and take in her beautiful face. We aren’t in our twenties or thirties anymore, but she’s still knock-out gorgeous. I see the faint laugh lines around her eyes. She puts her forehead to mine before angling her face so she can kiss me. This woman—I love her more now than I ever have. I didn’t think it was possible to love her more, but every day she does something to prove me wrong.
She pulls back and looks me in the eye. “It’ll all work out, Rhett. You’ll see. Ivie is back home and recovering. We’re going to be grandparents. Lucy’s in your life and y’all will get closer. Give it time. It’s a lot to take in for anyone. She’s recovering too. Physically and emotionally.”
Rayna gets up and starts to walk out but stops short of the door. “Rhett, I’m curious, with all that happened the night they were rescued, did anyone find out what happened to Lucy? She was injured, badly. Did Jade do all that to her, or is there more to the story than we know?” I feel the color drain from my face. I was so concerned about Ivie and Lucy’s immediate safety, I didn’t consider what happened to Lucy. Everyone just assumed. I should’ve asked.Damn it.
“I don’t know, babe. But you can bet your life I’m going to find out.”
Rayna eyes me with her brows drawn in concern. “I’ll help in whatever way you need. I love her too. Always have.” She smiles empathetically before leaving my office.
I immediately pick my phone up again and call Lucy. She answers on the second ring.
“Hello?”
“Hey Lucy. I was hoping we could talk soon. Are you free in the next few days?”
“Is everything okay? Ivie...”
