AllFreeNovel
Share Us
When I arrive at Dad’s, there’s a sleek black SUV—no doubt something expensive— parked in the driveway beside my dad’s work truck. When her and Dad split, she came around for several months at first, but the visits became less and less until they stopped completely. Then, I was left with the occasional phone call and card, and one day, those stopped too.
Cutting my engine, I squeeze my eyes shut as I think about the last time I saw my mother.
She came to see me for my birthday not long after she left Dad. “Happy birthday, my sweet boy. I love you so much. More than you could ever know.” She said this with tears in her eyes and I remember wondering why she was crying on my birthday. She took off her necklace, a gift from Dad, it was a silver locket. Inside there was a picture of the two of us and it was engraved. It read: You are my heartbeat. She gave me her necklace and told me to keep it safe for her right as Dad walked in. She wrapped me in a tight hug and kissed my head and then placed her hands on either side of my face. “I’ll come back soon.”That was the last time I saw her in person.
I reach in my pocket and feel the cool metal of the necklace I’ve held on to since that day. I’ve aways had it, but it’s been hidden in a drawer in my room. I got it out the night I almost asked Dad to set this meeting up, and since then I’ve kept it in my pocket.
I glance up and see Dad coming out to meet me, still dressed in his work clothes. I exit my truck and walk to him. “So… she’s here,” I deadpan.
“She is,” he says while putting a hand on my shoulder.
“You can do this, son. I’ll be right here if you need me. I’m going to tinker in the shop while you two talk. If you need me to step in, I will.”
“Thanks, Dad,” I tell him solemnly.
He nods and gives my shoulder a quick squeeze before making his way to the shop. I take the few steps to the back door and go in.
As soon as I open the door, I already smell her perfume. I make my way into the living room and find her looking at pictures. Dad has pictures of me all over the house, despite his years of drinking, he documented me growing up.
Her back is to me, her blonde hair just touches her shoulders. She’s wearing a light pink sweater and jeans. She stiffens as if she senses me and slowly turns. When she does, I’m not quite sure what to feel—relieved she came or still angry at her for not coming until I asked her to. She had to know I needed her. I’m speechless as I take in her blue eyes, the same blue as mine. Dads are blue but his are darker. Mine and Moms are identical and almost ice blue.
“You came,” is all I get out.
“Of course I did.” She starts to step closer, but I step back. She looks a bit stunned, but still as if she knew I’d react this way.
“You’ve grown into such a handsome man, Tate. I’m so proud of you,” she says calmly, in the same voice she used to read me stories with.
I waste no time. I need answers and I needed them yesterday. “Why did you leave?”
She brings her slender hand up to her chest as her eyes widen slightly. “It had nothing to do with you, sweetheart. It was between your father and me.”
Now I start to feel anger and my insecurities surface. “If it had nothing to do with me, then why did you stop coming? Stop calling? You told me you’d come back.” I pull the necklace from my pocket and dangle it in front of her. “You told me you’d come back the day you gave me this. Do you remember? You asked me to keep it safe for you.”
Her lips part a little as the first tear tracks her cheek. She hangs her head but quickly looks back at me. “I wanted to come back so many times. I wanted you with me, but I couldn’t take you from your father. He needed you. He couldn’t lose us both.”
“I needed you, Mom. I understand things didn’t work for you and Dad, but that’s no excuse to leave your child. What could justify that?” I ask, my chest rising and falling rapidly as I try and fail to contain my emotions.
“You’re right, I have no excuse. I was hiding out and I should’ve done things differently, but I didn’t. And as much as I wish I could go back and change it, I can’t. There’s not a day that has gone by where you weren’t the first thing on my mind when I woke up and the last thing on it at night.”
She swipes at her eyes. “Your dad was dealt some hard blows, losing his dad, and then finding out he’d been lied to his entire life when he found out about his biological father…losing his mother and having to take over the family business. He knew my parents didn’t approve of our relationship. It was all too much, and he pushed me away. He didn’t let me help him. So, I faded away, until one day, my parents’ voices became too loud…they got in my head, and I left him. It’s a decision I’ll always regret. I never stopped loving your father. For a while, I think I thought he’d wake up and snap out of the fog he was living in if I stayed gone long enough. I believed one day, I’d come back to stay, and we’d be a family again. But more and more time passed, and he made no effort to try and get me back, so I stayed gone. It hurt so much seeing you and having to see him. I was weak and selfish…and young and stupid. I gave up on my family when I should’ve followed my heart and fought harder.”
I feel my own tears spill silently down my face as she talks. “I let him down, I let myself down, and most of all I let you down. I wish to hell I could change it.”
“Did you remarry or have more kids?” I don’t know why I asked because I’m not sure I want to know. I see her answer without her speaking as she blanches.
“I didn’t remarry. But you have a sister. That’s another reason I stopped coming around when I did. I found out I was pregnant, and I didn’t want your dad to know.”
Part of me feels betrayed, but another part of me is curious about my sister. “Does she know about me?”
She smiles. “She does. I told her all about you. She wants to meet you and your dad.”
I run my hand over my stubble and cover my mouth for a moment.I have a little sister.
“Do you have a picture?”
“I have some on my phone.” She pulls her phone out and shows me a girl—a woman— with blonde, curly hair who shares the same blue eyes with us. “Her name is Emerson. Emmy for short. She plays basketball. She’s good at it. She just started playing college ball at MTSU. She’s nineteen.”
I can’t help the smile tipping up the corner of my lips. Basketball was mine and Mom’s thing. I guess we have something in common.
