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I smile. For once he’s right…she does deserve better. But right now, she’s got me. I want to be angry at him, but I can’t. I feel jealousy creep in because it used to be me she trusted. Then I remember why I’m here. To give her a piece of my mind. The sooner I do, maybe I’ll be able to move away from this twisted obsession I’ve developed with her.
“Tell her to come over here when she’s free. I’ll take a water while I wait. And don’t worry, you don’t need to protect her from me. The damage between us has already been done,” I deadpan.
He turns and grabs a glass, fills it with ice and water, then places it in front of me. He doesn’t say anything else as he makes his way back toward her. I notice him place his hand on the small of her back as he whispers in her ear, and a flicker of rage flits through my chest, but I take a deep breath and sip my water.
She appears slightly ashen but squares her shoulders and walks toward me. “What is it, Hawk? I’m not sure we have anything left to say. I kept my promise to you and now we’re done.”
I see her pulse jumping in her throat. She’s putting on a good front, but once again, her body betrays her.
“I want to know if you’re okay,” I say.
She seems puzzled and blinks a few times. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
My lips tip up. “Brittney, as much as you think otherwise, I’m not heartless. I’m not blind either. Dean is my friend. Briella is yours. What they’re going through has a ripple effect on the people who care. So, I’ll ask again…are you okay?”
Her gaze drops to her hands. Out of old habits, I reach out and tip her chin back up. Her eyes are red, and she blinks quickly to fight off the incoming tears.“Dolcezza,”I whisper.
Her chin quivers even as my finger holds it.
“I’m fine,” she says quickly.
“You’re not a good liar. You never were,” I say gently, more so than I thought possible.
Her gaze snaps back to mine. “You certainly thought I was, remember?”
“I’m not here to start a fight with you. I just wanted to talk,” I tell her.
“Thanks for checking on me, but we have nothing left to say. I need to get back to work.” She waits for me to answer for a few seconds before walking away.
I stand and move from the counter. She won’t talk here, that’s fine. I’ll wait until we’re alone. She gets off in an hour or so. We’ll talk then, whether she thinks we need to or not…we do. I get why she felt the need to put me in my place the night we slept together, but now I need to put her in hers.
Alittle after midnight, she gets out of her SUV and heads to her front door. I’ve been standing against my truck where I parked slightly out of view so she wouldn’t spot me and avoid coming home. As she rifles through her purse for something, I quietly walk up behind her. “You need to be more careful and watch your surroundings, Brittney.”
She startles but doesn’t scream. She turns on me without a smile and without a word. She unlocks her door and starts to shut me out, but I catch it with my foot. She puts her stuff down and kicks off her shoes.
“Why are you here, Hawk?” she asks as she pulls the hoodie she was wearing off. When she does, the T-shirt beneath rises slightly, showing a glimpse of skin and stirring a reaction I’d be better off ignoring.
I close and lock her front door. “We didn’t finish talking.”
She turns to face me after rummaging through her fridge for a bottle of water. “We did. There’s nothing else to say.”
I remember how she fights her emotions all too well—the result of her parents’ marriage. Even when things were great between us once upon a time, she held me at arm’s length and didn’t truly let me in.
“That’s where you’re wrong. I need to know if you’re okay after what we did that night too. I’m not here to hash it out again. You had your reasons for it—no matter how twisted they may be—but I still need to know you’re okay, that I didn’t…” I pause, unsure of myself, and if I’m honest…a little sick inside knowing it’s possible I hurt her. “I want to make sure I didn’t hurt you.”
Her face softens. She had been staring at me through narrowed eyes, and now her shoulders seem to relax. A cute little blush colors her cheeks. “You didn’t hurt me, I promise.” She grins a little and a quiet laugh escapes her lips. “I mean, I felt where you’d been, but I expect it’s normal regardless for a woman’s first time.” She crosses her arms, and it draws my attention to her chest.
I glance back at her face, trying not to recall the way her nipples begged for my mouth. I can see where they’re pebbled under her shirt through her bra even now. I take in a calming breath and my lips turn up involuntarily. “I’m not a woman, so…” I trail off with a chuckle and shrug. “But I assume you’re right.”
She grins again and glances away. I step toward her as she leans against her kitchen counter. When I reach her, I gently tip her chin up with my fist so I can see her eyes. “Are you sure you’re okay, Brittney? You were always too good at pushing people away. Is that what you’re doing now? Absorbing Briella’s pain, and maybe burying your own?” I ask her as I tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear. I can’t seem to overcome the need to be near her…to touch her.
As she stares back at me, I realize I’ve hit the nail on the head. She closes her watery eyes. I take her face in my hands and drop my forehead to hers. My thumbs gently swipe the fallen tears away as she wraps her fingers around my forearms. “Dolcezza,you don’t always have to be so tough. It’s okay to let your guard down sometimes. It’s okay to feel.” My instinct is to comfort her.
She nods and leans into me. “It’s hard to see someone you care deeply for lose everything. There are no words to say, and nothing can be done to fix what’s happened. I feel so powerless. She’s always been this force to be reckoned with and now she’s…broken. She’s been there for me, and I feel like I can’t help her. She has all of us, but she still feels so alone. And it kills me because I know what it feels like, not in the same way she does, but I know.”
“I know it doesn’t feel like it, but you’re helping her more than you realize. Sometimes you don’t need words. You just need someone to be there and that’s enough. She knows you love her, Brittney.” I pull her into my arms and hold her small frame against me and breathe in the familiar floral scent of her hair.
“And you’re not alone,dolcezza.Not ever,” I promise.
