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“Is that a yes? You slept with him last night?” My heartbeat thunders loudly, begging her to say no. I’m not sure when I turned into a complete mess over Brittney Jameson, but here I stand. The heart I didn’t know I still had is bleeding out at the thought of any other man touching her the way I have. But especially when the man is Matteo Leone.
She doesn’t answer, she turns and finally enters her bedroom, slamming the door behind her as she goes and cracking what’s left of my icy façade.
I don’t move from the spot I was standing as I clench my jaw in frustration. I never liked her sister, Mandy; this only adds to it. We need to talk, seriously talk. I can’t let her start down this path that will ultimately lead her to her own ruin.
I take a seat on her couch, the exact one where I tasted her intimately and ravaged her like she was mine. But she is…she always has been, and I’ve been too dumb to see it until now.Until you think you might lose her forever,my mind taunts. I really am a selfish bastard. But I don’t care why my eyes are finally open, I simply care that they are. I walked away from her before and didn’t fight, but damn it, this time I won’t let her go without one.
Twenty minutes later when she emerges from her room, she’s traded her scandalous dress for light-washed jeans and a black T-shirt which reads “It’s always better to take the High Road” which is High Road Bar’s slogan.
She doesn’t look up as she pulls out a kitchen chair to tug on her black cowboy boots. I watch as she steps into one and then fixes her jeans. I see the top of her hand and she’s still sporting faded ink from Fantasia, confirming where she’s been. My gut tightens. Her blonde hair is loose and wavy, spilling over her shoulder as she shimmies her foot into her other boot.
She glances up and stills. “I thought you’d be long gone.” She stands and pushes the chair back in. “Listen, I don’t need a babysitter because I let you in my pants a couple times. I can take care of myself. Anyway, I’ve got work in about thirty minutes, so I need to grab a quick bite before my shift.”
I stand and move to where I’m in front of her. My hands itch to touch her, but now isn’t the time. “I need you to hear me out,dolcezza.This is important.”
She considers this. Her lower lip quakes slightly, but then I notice she must clench her teeth because her jaw works. “I don’t need to hear anything else, Hawk. My mind is made up. You and I”—she points between my chest and hers—“we were close once, and then we weren’t. Too many things were said and done to fix what was broken. And that’s okay. We’re both adults and we can move on. As for what happened between us recently, I think we needed it so we could finally put the past behind us and let go. I know that’s what I’m doing. You are part of my past, Hawk, not my future. So please let this go so I can finally move on. There’s no need in trying to hurt each other more.”
“Brittney, I—” She cuts me off.
“I’ve gotta go. Take care, Hawk. I truly hope someday you find what makes you happy again. I’m fighting for mine, and I won’t let anything stop me. Maybe you can do the same.” She leans up on her toes and presses a chaste kiss to my cheek.
I have to make her see, it’sherI’m about to fight for. “Brittney, I won’t stop trying just like that. You’re going to have to talk to me at some point.”
She smiles sadly as she grabs her purse and keys. She opens her front door waiting on me to follow. We step outside and she locks her door before facing me again. “Hawk, I don’t owe you anything anymore. You can try all you want, but it won’t change my mind.”
With that, she leaves me standing alone on her front porch as she drives off. Memories assail me of another time when she left me with my jaw on the floor and an ache in my heart. But this time, I won’t be giving up so easily. I’ll fight for her. I’ll prove to her I’m the one she can trust.
This has become a dangerous game. I can only hope I’m not too late to stop her from making a life-altering mistake at the hands of a Leone. If I am, I’ll be waking up a part of my life better left in slumber. If she sees that part of me, she may be terrified of who I was…who I am deep down. I glance at my hands and see the faint scars on my knuckles and my side burns as I remember the blood that was shed, both my own andhis.
Deep down I know Matteo has gotten to her. And I know the note I left her was nothing short of cruel. But it was another defense tactic to keep my heart separate from her. I knew touching her that way would only lead to trouble. I knew I couldn’t handle it without being sucked back into all that she is. I’ve sent so many mixed signals and then there’s our past…it’s no wonder she thinks she can’t trust me.
She’s not totally wrong, as an opponent, I’m not to be trusted. When you mess with those I love, I’m a lethal weapon. I’ve buried that history, but it’s seared in my bones. I knew they’d never let me be…not truly. I have news for them, I’ve been mentally preparing for a day I’d need to recall my defense skills. He said he’d come for me someday, somehow. I’ll fight for Brittney, and if one more fight is what they’re searching for, I’ll give them one, but this time I’ll finish it once and for all.
Then…
I’m staring at myself in the mirror when my sister barges in my room unannounced. “Why are you getting dressed up? Are you staying for the party tonight?”
My wavy hair is neatly in place and my eager eyes stare back at me before I face my sister. Tonight is the night that will change everything. “I’m going out with Hawk.”
“Oh, so you’re dressed to impress him. You know he’s too old for you, right? I mean, he’s closer to my age than yours.” She throws her head back laughing. Our parents are out of town this weekend on one of their “let’s give us another chance” trips, so naturally my sister wants to throw a party. Sometimes I don’t know why they even try. All they do is fight. When they aren’t, the house feels like a lifeless museum.
My sister and I have both heard the screaming and the accusations. We’ve seen the proof. My parents have an unhealthy relationship. It’s downright toxic. They lie, and they cheat, and then they try to pretend it didn’t happen. But it’s a cycle they won’t stop. They both refuse to file for divorce or keep it in their pants. I love both my parents, but they make me not want to have feelings for someone…ever.
And I’ve already failed at that. I do have feelings for someone.Hawk.I know it, deep down he knows it, and my sister knows it. Needless to say, she isn’t a fan, but I’m not entirely sure why. “Caleb is coming, and he was looking forward to seeing you. He doesn’t get to see us much anymore.”
“Tonight is important for me and Hawk. And I don’t care if you or anyone else thinks he’s too old for me. Age doesn’t matter. Besides, he’s only a few years older. I don’t know why you care. You hang on boys of all kinds, types, and ages all the time,” I tell her matter-of-factly.
Her eyes narrow slightly. “I’m trying to save you heartbreak, little sister. He’s older and he’ll be leaving soon. He’ll be two hours away. You’re naïve if you think he’ll be saving himself for you. He’ll be around girls his own age when he goes, and they’ll be packing more than the adolescent body and notions you have.”
She leans down so she can make her point clear. “Look at Mom and Dad. They’re married with kids and still sleep with other people. What do you think someone who looks like Hawk will do when another pair of tits are in his face?”
I slap her before I realize what I’ve done. “Mandy, I’m sorry.”
She touches her cheek where the red mark left by my hand gets darker. She stands back up and smiles cruelly. She’s sneering at me. “If you want to learn the hard way, it’s up to you.” She exits my room and my heart races. My sister and I have gone through waves of being close and then not so close. Right now, we’re oceans apart. But I know she still has my back no matter what, she just has a weird way of showing it sometimes.
The doorbell rings and I hear people coming inside. I guess the party is here. I shoot a quick text to Hawk to let him know I’m ready when he is. He says he’ll be here in five minutes. I decide to wait for him outside before the house gets full of the rowdy teenagers my sister invited, but it means making my way through the people already here. I lock my bedroom door and hide my key above it. No one except Mandy will know where the key is.
She emerges from her bedroom wearing a short, tight jean skirt and a crop top which barely covers anything. Her face is no longer sporting my handprint thanks to lots of concealer. She glares at me as I try to leave. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
