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“Not at all. I know we have so much to learn about each other. We have history, but there’s also voids neither of us know about the other. But I still want to know you trust me with your safety, and your body, and most importantly with your heart. If we have trust, it’s one of the biggest parts of building a solid foundation in a relationship. I want that. It’s not something I thought I wanted for a long time, but you were always different. Even as I thought I couldn’t stand you when we came face to face again, I think it was quite the opposite. There’s something magnetic about you, and I’m helplessly drawn in,” I admit. I probably shouldn’t be this open this fast, but when I decide to fight for something, I’m all in.
She puts her arms around my neck and pulls me to her for a kiss. She moans into my mouth, and once again, I’m at her mercy. “I’m ready to ravish you, so if you want to stop, now is the time,” I say in a husky tone.
“I trust you. I’d love to get to know more about the man you are now and what shaped you in my absence. And we have time, but for now, I think we should let our bodies do the talking,” she says as she toes off her shoes and pulls her socks off revealing bright pink polish on her toes.
I groan as she lifts her shirt over her head. “We don’t have to move this fast if you don’t want to. I’m happy to hold you in my arms all night and nothing else. I want to get this right.”
She unhooks her bra and lets it fall to the floor and slides her jeans down her shapely legs. She’s left in pale pink underwear, and it makes my mouth water. “Here I am, Hawk. I’m stripped bare. I’m giving you all of me.”
I want her so bad it hurts. My erection presses painfully into my jeans. But somehow, I feel like this isn’t the right time to dive into sex. I need her to know she’s more to me than just a warm place to fulfill my needs. I pull her into my arms and lift her so she can link her ankles around my waist. I carry her to the front door to make sure it’s locked as she sucks on my neck and then head to my bedroom. I lay her down gently and undress down to my boxers. Then, I turn out the light before pulling her close so I can feel her bare skin against mine.
“You don’t want to have sex with me?” she asks, and I can hear the insecurity in her voice.
I take her hand and press it into the hard swell trying to break free of the constraints of my boxers. “I want you,dolcezza.There’s the proof, but when I slide between your legs again, it won’t be for revenge sex like the first time or my clouded sense of trying to prove I can do it better like the second time, it’ll be because I’m making love to you. Tonight, I want to sleep with you in my arms and wake up to your hair spread across my pillow as your heart beats with mine.”
“That sounds…lovely,” she almost whispers as she yawns.
I press a kiss into her hair and gently stroke her back as she curls into my side. Sleep calls to me, and for once, I drift into a restful slumber not plagued by the past, but instead comforted by the woman in my arms and the hope for our future.
Something in the middle of the night pulls me from a deep sleep. I hear a muffled noise. It takes me a few minutes to get my bearings before I gently move from Hawk’s sleeping form and smile.
I let my eyes adjust to the dark and see his shirt on the floor where he dropped it earlier. I pick it up and slide it over my head, then I hear the noise again and I quietly walk into his kitchen. It’s coming from my purse, and I realize it’s my phone.
I dig it out and see it’s almost two in the morning. The message is from Matteo and my stomach drops a little.
Matteo:I need you in Nashville Monday morning at ten. I’ll have a copy of the contract ready for you. Time to make dreams come true. XO
I don’t reply. If I felt dread before from keeping this to myself, I feel plain sick to my stomach now. How am I going to explain this to Hawk?
I’m almost certain I wouldn’t have signed the contract without talking it over with him first had things gone this way when he knocked on my door for the second time instead of him “loving and leaving” me with that hot mess of a note the next morning. But there’s not much I can do about it now. I don’t go back on my word. I’ll read over this contract when I get it and see if I can find a loophole to get out, or at least get out early.
I chew my lip as worry fills my heart. I don’t want to keep this from Hawk, but I’m scared telling him right now will destroy this chance with him. I can’t help but think he might see this as another betrayal. I told him I trust him, but he needs to be able to trust me too. Without that foundation, we’ll crumble.
I need to fess up, and I will. But I need to buy a little time to figure out what this contract means. Maybe I can balance it without jeopardizing this new beginning with Hawk. And if not, I’ll find a way out. There are other ways to chase my dreams, and right now, I’m realizing one of those dreams is to be the woman Hawk Abbott loves.
After turning my phone off, I use the bathroom and then shed his shirt before climbing under the covers with him again. I try to settle back into a peaceful sleep with my head on his chest, but guilt forces me to stay wide awake as I listen to the sound of Hawk’s even breaths and the steady beat of his heart.
I lie there for a few minutes and try to get comfortable. It’s as if he can sense my unrest because he finally stirs and whispers, “What’s wrong, baby?”
“Nothing. I woke up and couldn’t fall back asleep. I didn’t mean to wake you,” I tell him.
It’s dark, but I can still see his eyes when he gazes at me through sleep-laden lids. He rises up on his elbow and gently moves me so I’m lying on my back. He leans over me and kisses my lips, parting them with his tongue. I open to him and let him explore as his kiss takes my breath away.
Desire runs hot through me as he abandons my lips in favor of my neck. He presses sweet kisses down the column of my throat sending chills over my body even as my blood is fired with need. He moves lower and captures one of my nipples in his mouth and then the other while his hand slides under my panties to find my wet center. His fingers work their magic while his mouth plays with my breasts.
When my release begins, he pulls back so he can gaze into my eyes and watch me fall apart with only his touch. He kisses my lips again and lies back down beside me, tucking me to his side.
“Let me make you feel good too, Hawk.”
“That did make me feel good, baby. That was all for you. I promise you so much more, but for now, I want to take things slow. I’m fighting to win back your heart, not just your body,” he says in a husky voice.
A smile plays on my lips and my lids get heavy once more, and I realize my heart may be won more easily than I thought possible.
“Brittney. You’re all I could ever want,” I tell her as I thread my fingers through her hair. She’s driving me wild with her mouth. What a marvelous dream. But that’s the problem, I know I’m dreaming. I told her I wanted to take things slow last night, and while I made sure she was satisfied, I left myself hard up. But it’s fine because having Brittney be mine from now until forever is my goal. The moment she promised to give me another chance was the moment I decided to make sure I get it right this time.
That’s why I’m dreaming of her luscious lips working their magic down my length and back up again. I haven’t ever had a dream quite this vivid. I can almost feel it the same as if it were happening in real time. This is going to be one hell of a wet dream if I don’t wake myself from it. I sure don’t want to blow my load in my underwear with her sleeping in the same bed, but it feels so good.
I can almost hear a quiet moan slip from her lips, and it has me ready to burst. My eyes fly open to find I’m not dreaming. This perfect woman—who has all but locked down my heart for good—is latched on to my rock-hard length. I start to panic because I’m not sure she’s ready for what’s about to happen.
