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I didn’t want to ruin their dinner. I ate and smiled and put in just enough effort that they wouldn’t catch on that something was wrong.
On the car ride home, the conversation morphed from talking about the Wildcats basketball game to the Kentucky Derby, which got my attention, especially when Mom was inviting Scotty to attend.
My mom had turned in her seat to talk to Scotty. “I should be fully recovered from the surgery by then. You really just have to experience it! Come stay with us, Scotty. It’s a wonderful time.”
My dad chimed in, “You don’t even have to follow horse racing to enjoy it. It’s something else.”
My mom agreed. “It’s a grand spectacle. There are parties all day, fancy outfits and crazy hats galore, mint juleps, and tons of after-parties, too. The entire city goes wild. Really, the Derby should be on everyone’s bucket list.”
Scotty grabbed my hand and held onto it. “It sounds like a good time.”
Mom beamed at him. “Oh, it is. Derby Day is on the first Saturday in May, but Thursday and Friday are fun, too. You should come for a long weekend visit.”
I tried to pull my hand away, but Scotty wouldn’t let it go. “Mom, I told you that Scotty’s job keeps him very busy. He doesn’t get much time off. We’re lucky we got him here this weekend.”
My mother’s face sank. “Oh, that’s a shame.”
“I’d love to experience it, Lara. I’ll see what I can work out with my schedule,” Scotty promised.
My eyes narrowed and my jaw tightened. I threw him a look of disbelief and frustration before he could get her too excited about the idea of him going. Even though he hadn’t said it, we both knew there was no chance of him actually making it.
I tried to temper her expectations. “Mom, I’m not even sure I can go this year. Flights into Kentucky are crazy expensive that weekend.”
Her mouth fell open. “But, you’ve never missed the Derby except for that one year you got sick. And all your friends will be there.”
“I’d like to go, but I live in Los Angeles now. It’s not as easy anymore.
I didn’t miss the expression on her face before she turned around in her seat. She was upset.
The lively conversation in the car grew quiet. I’d thrown a damper on my mother’s enthusiasm. The Kentucky Derby was an event she eagerly anticipated every year and now more than ever, she needed something to look forward to in the future. Angry at distressing her, I yanked my hand out of Scotty’s and scowled.
When we pulled into the long road that led to the resort, I pulled out my bag and changed out of my heels and into my sneakers. We said goodnight to my parents in the parking lot because we had to walk back to the yurt, which was in the other direction from the hotel. We made arrangements to meet up with them for breakfast at the hotel because they were driving us to the airport since our departing flights were not too far apart.
I snuggled inside my new down parka and started hiking back to the yurt while Scotty was still saying goodbye.
He jogged to catch up with me. “What’s wrong? You’ve been upset all evening.”
“Nothing’s wrong. I’m just ready for this weekend to be over.” In a twisted way, it was the truth. You play with fire, you were going to get burned.
My harsh words had finally shut Scotty up for a moment so I could think. We trudged back in silence.
The yurt was still warm and cozy when we got back, but Scotty pulled off his sports coat and rolled up his sleeves before adding more wood to the stove. I sat down and removed my sneakers and socks that had gotten wet from the snow.
Scotty finished up with the stove and then turned around to watch me. “If you’re upset about your mom being sick, it’s understandable, Sunshine. Maybe talking about it will help?”
Right now, I was more upset about this whole situation I’d gotten myself into than my mother’s cancer and that was completely fucked up.
He came and sat next to me at the small kitchen table. “Let’s talk about it.”
“Let’s not.” I got up and went over to the bed.
This stupid yurt was so small and there was absolutely nothing to do in it. It wasn’t even ten o’clock and I might as well get ready for bed, because what else could I do?
“I hate this yurt,” I grumbled.
Scotty stood up and ran a hand through his hair. “Is it me? Are you mad at me? Talk to me. I just want to make you feel better.”
He sounded really sincere, and that just made me angrier at him.
