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Me:I am going to kill you.
I hit send on the text to Celia as I inched my way forward in the pack of humanity toward the general admission gates of the venue.
Celia:I’m so jealous! You rock, girl. Go have some fun!!
Nerves churned in my stomach, making me feel mildly nauseous. My fingers flew over my phone screen.
Me:Why couldn’t I tell him I was coming? This seems like a very bad idea. How am I even going to find him after the show? What if I see him with another girl?
A girl bumped into me from behind, but I ignored her as I stared at my screen.
Celia:If that happens, then you’ll know he’s an asshole. Then, just go meet the band and hook up with one of them.
I swallowed down a hint of rising bile. A few seconds later, I got another text.
Celia:That’s not going to happen. So don’t freak out.
Fuck my life. I was so nervous. How had she talked me into this insane idea?
I still had time to back out. Hordes of people surrounded me, pushing me forward as we made our way slowly to the entrance. The air was filled with a sense of excitement and festivity, but I couldn’t enjoy it.
Everywhere I turned, there were endless droves of people clamoring to get into the concert as quickly as they could. I kept my head down, gripping my VIP pass tightly in my hand. I could feel my heart racing as I continued forward.
When I reached the front of a huge bottleneck of people at the bag check, I placed my handbag on the table to be searched.
The lady noticed the ticket in my hand and then shook her head like she was disappointed in me. “You’ve got VIP tickets? What the hell are you doing in this line? Go around back to the VIP entrance. That’s what you paid for.”
She vaguely pointed around a line of fencing, impatiently waving me aside before checking the next bag as soon as the next person in line crowded in.
I circled around the fence, leaving the crowd of people, and began walking toward the back of the building. I hoped the entrance was clearly marked. Before I got too far, a security guard stepped in front of me.
“Where’re you headed?” he asked gruffly.
Freezing in place, my words caught in my throat. I held out my VIP pass, sure that I must have looked so out of place, like an imposter trying to sneak inside.
“I-I’m looking for the VIP entrance,” I eventually managed to stammer out.
The security guard gave me a hard look before pointing to the back of the building. “It’s that way.”
Nodding my thanks, I hurried away, not wanting to draw any more attention to myself. I made my way around the side of the building, trying to ignore the stares of the people on the other side of the fencing, who were heading to the entrance from distant parking lots. When I found the VIP entrance, I breathed a sigh of relief.
Venue staff ushered me past several security checkpoints, each waving me further inside to my destination. The energy of the crowd immediately swept me up in its enthusiasm. Everywhere I looked, people were dancing, laughing, and singing along to the music. A nervous anticipation bubbled up inside me as I made my way through the throngs of people.
After flashing my ticket to several more security people, I reached the VIP area where my seat was located. Only a few feet separated me from the front of the stage. My seat was definitely premium. Not many concertgoers had reached this section yet — there was still lots of time before the show started — but the ones who were already there were not dressed like the masses of people waiting to get into the show.
I was incredibly self-conscious. Everyone around me was dressed to the nines. While I had blended perfectly into the crowd before, I now stood out like a sore thumb. I was wearing what I thought was the perfect rock concert outfit: a black off-the-shoulder, midriff-baring T-shirt that was molded to my arms and chest and faded black jeans that were strategically ripped and torn with some shredding around the ankles. My cheeks flushed with embarrassment as I made my way to my seat and sunk down into it.
I pulled out my phone and rattled off a text to Celia.
Me:I made it to my seat. It’s right in front of the stage. All the VIPs around me are dressed up. What about the after-party? What if it’s some fancy thing? You saw my outfit. I look like a try-hard poser. I think I’m going to sneak out of here.
My hands squeezed around my phone case as I waited for her reply. To my surprise, my phone rang. It was Celia. I picked it up and put it to my ear.
She didn’t even give me a chance to say hello before she started talking. “You are not going anywhere. Take a deep breath and calm down. You made it to your seat already. At least watch the concert. You can always sneak off afterward. But I suggest you ask for Scotty after the show. He’ll be very excited that you came, Summer. Remember, he wanted you there.”
I looked behind me, watching the theater slowly filling up with people. “This place is so fancy. This is all so weird, Celia. I wish you were here.”
A note of envy crept into her words as she responded over the phone. “Shit, so do I. Take lots of pictures and some videos, if you’re allowed to. Especially of Ghost Parker. You are so lucky, Summer. Just relax and have fun. You’re at a concert, for fuck’s sake, not a gynecologist appointment. Unclench, girl.”
