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“No idea. I guess I’ll know when I get the credit card bill.” I rubbed at my aching temples. “Fuck, my wallet was stolen, too.”
Ghost remained silent, and the silence was bothering me. I looked around. “Where are the others?”
Ghost put down his phone. “They’re here. I told them to give us 15 minutes.”
I knew they’d all come. That’s what we did for each other. We were brothers. We were there for each other. That’s why Ghost’s betrayal hurt so fucking much. He was the man I trusted the most. Just like I had with Hugh.
Ghost leaned forward. “We all care about you, Knox. What the fuck is going on? Is it the anniversary of Aila’s death? Sid thought it might be. You muttered something about her to Kaylie.”
My stomach soured at the mention of her name. My voice was vibrating with anger. “You know what hurts the most about Aila’s death? It’s that she fucking betrayed me.”
Ghost sat back. “You’ve never mentioned that before. You just said she died in a car accident a few days before your wedding. How did she betray you?”
I didn’t want to dredge up all that old hurt and anguish again. I had plenty of new hurts to deal with. “It doesn’t fucking matter anymore.”
Ghost didn’t let too many people get close to him. I was one of the few that got a peek behind the charismatic mask that he always wore to disguise his personal demons. He was a gifted musician with a larger-than-life personality and extraordinary physical beauty to match. Behind all that, was an incredibly smart and perceptive mind.
He wasn’t going to let my remark drop. “You’ve been hauling around a lot of baggage since I met you. I’ll tell you what my therapist told me: toss that baggage on the floor, zip it open, inspect the contents, and then unpack that shit. Put in the little drawers, close them up, and deal with them in pieces. But leave it behind. Don’t haul the baggage around with you all the time.” He tossed me a half smile. “It made a lot more sense when she said it, man. You need to do some unpacking.”
I picked at the fringe on the decorative pillow near me. “None of that matters now. Did Sidney tell you that I’m leaving? I’m gonna go to Australia and start over. Leave this shit behind.”
Ghost’s eyes flickered with pain. “You’re running again. You found something good here. Why would you leave that? Ghost Parker is your family. Don’t run away.”
“I hate this fucking town. It’s dirty and filled with crime. The people are fake and plastic. It’s time to move on. You’ll be able to replace me easily. Actually, you wouldn’t even need to. Ryder could take my spot. Me leaving wouldn’t affect anything.” The words were all true, but it hurt to spit out each and every one of them.
Ghost gripped the arms of the chair and took a deep breath. “We’re all replaceable. We actually did replace Bash for a ton of shows. Davey was really good, but it wasn’t the same without Bash. Everybody felt it. Ryder still struggles with the thought that he could drop out and Ghost Parker wouldn’t miss a beat. He thinks he’s expendable when you know that not fucking one of us thinks that. He’s a part of us. You could replace me. Yeah, the look and sound might change, but it wouldn’t mean the end of the band. It just wouldn’t be our band. It wouldn’t be the same without the five of us.”
I scoffed. “Fuck, that’s a dumb example. Ghost Parker is literally your name. You couldn’t be replaced.”
“Christ, Knox.” He ran a hand through his hair. “So, this isn’t a band thing? This existential crisis? I know you love playing and performing. Maybe the most out of all of us. And, a few days ago you were stoked to go on tour. So, what happened? Is it Summer?”
That’s a bingo. I looked him in the eye. “Summer? Why would it be Summer?” I threw up some air quotes. “Fuck. I’m certainly not suspicious of a thing.”
I shoved the same words he’d texted her this morning back in his face. The cold fucker didn’t even flinch.
He leaned back and crossed his ankle over his knee. “You seem angry with me.”
My jaw was decidedly set in anger. “You know why I’m angry.”
“I think I’m starting to get an idea, but what the fuck does an idea do? I think you should tell me, Knox. Because you’re way off base.” His voice was steady and calm, but his eyes were burning fire.
The rage and hurt inside me were like a volcano that erupted after being bottle-up for too long. “Did you fuck Summer?”
The guy absorbed my harsh accusation with a poker face. My stomach twisted in agony as I waited for him to speak.
“You want to go ahead and tell me why you’d think so little of our friendship to believe that?” His voice was like granite.
“So, you’re denying it? I saw the texts you sent Summer this morning about me not suspecting anything.”
His eyes narrowed. “I’m not going to explain those texts, because you obviously only saw enough to jump to the wrong conclusion, but you’ll find out soon enough what they were about. You better think long and hard before you throw away Summer’s love for you with your jealous imaginings. And think about what kind of damage you’re doing to our friendship. Why the fuck would you jump to that conclusion? It’s a pretty big leap. I’m not just insulted, I’m wounded. Hurt that you would think that of me.”
I growled at him. “What does that mean — you’re not going to explain? You want me to just take your word for it? That there’s nothing going on between the two of you?”
“That’s exactly what I want you to do.” He crossed his arms over his chest, his lip curling in contempt.
I either had to trust Ghost or walk away from it all. Was it possible that I’d just mixed everything up in my head? All the stuff with Aila. The texts from Ghost. Had I jumped to conclusions because of my past experience?
I didn’t have a chance to decide when the other three guys, Sid, Bash, and Ryder, barged in. Their faces were pale with worry and their eyes darted around the room.
