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His car pulls into the parking lot and instead of rounding the front loop by the front doors, he pulls into an available space. My eyes dart to his. Onyx is already facing me, reaching for my hand. “Ask me.”
My brow lifts at the same time I feel an explosion of gratitude in my chest. Still, I’m nervous. How many girlfriends have to ask their boyfriends to stay with them because they are too scared and traumatized to be home alone when their mom is gone. I’m a month away from being seventeen for crying out loud.
“Can you stay with me tonight? I’ll make fancy Ramen and we can watch an episode of Supernatural before we sleep. I’ll even throw breakfast in before school. Minus the coffee because we all know how you feel about my black-bean-juice.”
Onyx’s head tilts back and he laughs, the kind where his whole chest vibrates with it. “You had me at Ramen, Little Star.” He smirks and then reaches across the counsel to take my hand in his again. He tilts my hand upward so my palm is facing up, and runs his thumb over my veins. “Whenever you need me, I’ll be here for you.”
His words wrap around my heart and dig their claws in, making it ache in the best of ways. I believe him. I nod my head, words are no use for me. I’m speechless. He understands me, and soon, we’re out of the car and his arm is over my shoulder, leading me into the building. We take the elevator in silence and turn right down the hallway once we reach my floor. I grab my key ring and find the one for the door, popping it open. I glance at Onyx under my lashes and take a deep breath before allowing him into my personal space.
The lights flicker on. I look around the room and try to imagine how he sees it. Everything is minimal, except for the one shelf by the couch that has all my dance awards and medals on it. Last year’s picture of my solo competition is framed on the wall. I glance at Onyx and find him already staring at the picture. From behind, he looks too large to be in this room. His presence is grander than this space has ever seen.
“You took first.” He notices and I hear the proud undertone of his words. My heart beats double time and my cheeks flush, but I manage to nod my head.
“It was my favorite solo so far,” I tell him.
I lead him to the kitchen and he follows, placing my bag on the three-person kitchen table. I head to the pantry and grab some Ramen packets before moving to the fridge. It’s practically empty and missing the key ingredient. “Well, I guess you’re only getting semi-fancy Ramen tonight. We’re out of eggs.”
Onyx peers into the fridge next to me, his face pulling into mock horror. “No eggs? What are you making me for breakfast then?”
Smiling, I reach into the freezer and pull out the yellow box. “French toast sticks. I’ll even pop them in the oven so they have a nice crispiness to them.”
He laughs and shakes his head. I hand him bowls and we move around each other in the kitchen, boiling noodles, dropping in seasoning packets, and I add the green onion, sliced carrots and chunks of chicken. Onyx tells me stories about his childhood and more about his relationship with Terrance. I’m comparing our childhoods when he lifts his chin at the fridge. “Who is that?”
I glance at the image he is referring to and I can’t help the huge grin that pulls at my lips. “My aunt. She moved to Aruba a few years ago. When I was young, she lived only two hours away and we saw her every weekend. Now, we only get phone calls. She designed that house and decorated it. She rents it out and makes a killing, so she lives wherever she wants on the island now.”
“She’s a business tycoon,” Onyx remarks and I hear the wonder and admiration in his praise.
“She’s amazing. I want to visit someday,” I confide in him.
“I would too. Aruba is a fun country,” he says, while grabbing our now empty bowls and bringing them to the sink. I watch as he rolls up the sleeves of his baggy, white Henley and washes the dishes before placing them on the drying rack.
“You didn’t have to do that.” I shake my head, finally coming out of my trance.
He turns and smirks at me. “You cooked, babe.” His eyes slide to the clock then focus back on me. “I know I wanted to watch an episode of your show but we talked too long. We should head to bed.”
I glance over my shoulder and see that it is quarter to twelve already. Yup, tomorrow is not going to be pleasant. Getting up from my chair, I flick the kitchen lights off, leaving only the living room lamp on, and lead Onyx to my room. It feels weird and I start to second-guess myself. Just because I do this with Harper and Corey doesn’t mean Onyx is ready for it. I open the door and let it swing open before turning to face him. Our bodies align in my doorway and my head has to tilt back in order to make eye contact.
“You don’t have to sleep in here with me. I’m not expecting anything.” I take a deep breath. “Usually Harper and Corey will because when I know I’m alone, I get nightmares. The night my mom was attacked won’t leave me. And sometimes, it's not just her, it's me. After it happened, she became distant and I spent many nights alone. I know she loves me but it's sort of like not having a mom anymore. I lost her the day they ruined her.”
Onyx watches me with an openness in his features that tells me I’m safe, that my words matter, and that I’m not crazy for being unable to move past that night. The demons don’t leave me. Even Harper and Corey sometimes look at me with guilt and they try to understand. I know I’ve uprooted their lives on more than one occasion when I needed them to be with me.
“I promise I won’t make this a regular thing. I know you’re busy and—”
Onyx’s mouth slams down on mine, swallowing my apology between his lips. He breathes life and security into me instead. He teases my tongue with his, while his large hands frame my face. Onyx holds me.
“Do what you have to do, I’ll wait here.”
Following his instructions, I grab my pajamas and head to the shower. The whole time I wash my hair and stand naked in the bathroom, my body can feel Onyx in the other room. I change quickly and brush my teeth and my hair before feeling ready to head back into my bedroom.
Onyx is propped against my headboard, in just his jeans and t-shirt. He glances up and I watch the softness in his eyes when I climb in on my side. “Is this okay?”
“Yes,” I nod my head, sliding the covers back over me, “I’m good if you are.”
He flips his phone onto the nightstand and turns the bedside light off. The room is submerged in darkness, but with him here, I don’t feel suffocated by it. His hand reaches out and grabs mine. With our fingers laced together, our joined hands rest against his chest. I can feel the steady beat of his heart against my skin. A calmness fills my chest.
“Onyx?”
“Yeah, Little Star?” His voice sounds tired, deep, and I move closer to him.
