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York nods his head. “I agree. I think she’s overwhelmed by everything right now and just trying to make the best plans for Asher.”
“Aww, his name is Asher?” Ocean asks, and this time, joyful tears fall down her cheeks.
Within ten minutes, Mia sends a text calling us back. This time, everyone is on their best behavior. The guys ignore each other for the most part, while the girls snuggle the baby and fling a hundred questions at Mia. She handles it gracefully as she always does. It's another reason I was willing to go to bat for her and help hire Lori, my go-to private investigator. My heart stops when Jade takes a sleeping Asher and cradles him. A yearning deep in my stomach fires and grows. I can’t take my eyes off of her. When she is done, she hands the baby back to his father, whose eyes instantly go soft. I’ve seen the ruthless side of Zander. That man is not here today.
I watch Jade’s eyes take in the house, the decorations, and the set table. Her eyes linger on everyone in the room and I can feel her affection for them all. This is what she wanted her whole life. People around who loved her, a place she belonged. I have to find a way to give that to her and promise it will never go away.
ChapterThirty
Jade
Tears sting my eyes while Becks and Spyder play the last strings of Taylor Swift’s “This Love.” Mia and Zander stand under the swaying branches of the willow tree that was so important to their love story. I have to hand it to Zander, I didn’t think he had a chance, but somehow, he managed to woo my friend back. I glance next to me and both Ocean and Mia’s college friend Tabbi are dabbing at tears. My eyes trail one last time to the back row of chairs to the man sitting there. He’s handsome, older, and hasn’t taken his eyes off of Ocean. She’s avoiding him though, and the stone-cold death stare she gave him earlier leads me to believe he is the man she’s been running from, Ezra Hamilton.
I try to pay attention to the officiant, but the dull heat spreading throughout my body has been constant since I arrived at the front of the altar. Onyx’s eyes have not left me. I would feel him anywhere, pick him out in any crowd. My body is that in tune to his smell, his presence, his voice. The same voice he sings to crowds in is the one that’s been whispering dirty, depraved things in my ears the last few months. He’s told me over and over that I’m his, he’s mine, and that he wants to be together again. Why I can’t let go of the past I don’t know, and it eats me alive sometimes in the evenings when he is not there because he is recording. He wants a bonus track on his new album.
I listen to the words about commitment, loyalty, and trust for the couple who is getting married. I get hung up on the last word, trust. Do I trust Onyx? My feelings for him are rooted so far back, I could have sworn back then that we were fated to be together. That he was the love of my life and I found him at seventeen. Until he shattered my heart when he left and chose to let me go. When I think about it now, it feels like there are so many open, loose ends that don’t make sense. Even when we talk about the past, it feels as if he’s holding back.
My mind drifts to the night we reconnected in Las Vegas, and the cold way he approached the man who was trying to hurt me, before killing him in front of my eyes. Onyx has blood on his hands. He blamed me, and I was thrown into his life after that. I trust him to keep me safe. I don’t believe he would hurt me. My body trusts him and gives itself to him with just a crook of his finger in my direction. It's my mind and my heart that are at war with each other over whether I can live with knowing the man who my heart and soul belongs to could take a life. I saw it. I didn’t scream. I went with him willingly. Yet, haven’t I always known there was a dangerous side to Onyx? I sensed it when we met. I knew back then from Corey, from Rip, from Harper that Onyx’s family was one you did not mess with. That he was tied to danger from birth. I didn’t care then and I’m struggling to find my conscience about it now.
For Onyx, it's easy. He says he wants me. He says he’s mine. There is no question. But we have not yet closed the old chapter.
ChapterThirty-One
Jade
“Girl, when you swing from the ceiling like that aren’t you scared your arms will give out?” Ocean calls up to me from the floor. We have one week until the biggest show on our tour to date. I’ve been hitting it harder to make sure everything is perfect.
“It's actually a lot easier than pole dancing.” I wink at her and Ocean giggles. I slide down the rest of the rope and she hands me my water bottle.
“You’ve made miracles with this set, Jade. I don’t know how you do it.”
“Yours looks pretty good too.” I shuffle my elbow into her side and she jumps laughing.
“True. You did exactly what I wanted.”
I watch my best friend as she contemplates her own performance. Since she was young, Ocean has been forced to act and sing in a different way. With Mia’s help and mine, Ocean is finding her new image and her new sound. I know she's nervous. “It's going to be great, Oce.”
Her eyes turn misty and I quickly wrap my arm around her shoulders. “He said it won’t be.”
“Who?”
“Ezra.” She says his name gently and I scoff.
“Fuck him. What does he know? You’re going to kill it and then you’re going to knee him in the balls,” I tell her, and this time, she laughs with a real smile on her lips.
“And what about you? How are things with your hot and broody rap god?”
I roll my eyes, chewing on my lip. There is something, but I’ve been too scared to think about it. “He wrote a bonus song.”
Her brow quirks. “And?”
My hands run through my hair and my chest feels tight. “He wants me to listen to it, but I haven’t yet. I’ve been avoiding it and him actually.”
Ocean snorts. “You stay in the same room, how are you avoiding him?”
“I’ve been sleeping here the nights I know he’s there.”
Her eyes widen and her mouth drops open. “Jade! How long ago did he give it to you?”
