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“You didn’t want a shower?”
“I-I wasn’t s-sure…”
“If you don’t want to get in the shower, you can use the washcloths next to the towels. Just do what you’re comfortable with. The cleaner you are, the better you’ll feel.”
I tore my gaze away from Eagle’s, fixing on a point on the floor. I knew I needed to bathe, but if I got naked I’d be even more vulnerable. Then again, maybe I was overthinking the whole thing. God! I was so confused and scared!
“Go on. Clean up so you can sleep easier later. Ain’t nobody gonna be in here until you’re ready. Get me?”
I nodded, not sure if I got him or not. I hated feeling like this! I wasn’t generally an indecisive person. I had to make decisions frequently to get whatever information Milo had tasked me with. But my mind wasn’t working the way it should right now. The shock of what had happened to me, the knowledge that I had information Milo didn’t want me to have and had obviously considered shutting me up permanently, was a huge blow for me. I knew I wasn’t always safe with Milo and his men, but I knew what to expect and how to avoid everyone’s wrath. By running, I’d gone against everything I’d learned about how to survive.
When he didn’t shut the door, I looked up at him again. “Go on,” he encouraged. “You can do this. Shower. Dress. Out of the bathroom. Once you open the door, I’ll take over.”
That sounded better. Had poor decisions not led me to this situation, I’d probably have resented him telling me he’d take over. Right now, though, I couldn’t figure out what decision to make. Run or trust the man who’d saved me.
I could do this.
Stitches had cleaned and dressed several shallow cuts and scrapes to my knees. The side of my face felt swollen and hot. My cheek throbbed and my head was starting to hurt. And yeah. I felt grubby as hell.
I took my time, trying to use the heated water and the gentle way the spray worked my muscles to comfort myself and relax a little. I didn’t wash, exactly. More like I let the water pour over me. My hair was damp, but I hadn’t stuck my head under the spray yet. I was still numb, not sure what to do or expect. I couldn’t even contemplate that I may well have landed in a worse situation that I was in before. If these guys were toying with me, playing me for some sadistic reason, they were doing a damned good job of it.
There was another light knock at the door. I’d just turned off the water and had reached for a towel to dry off, but I froze.
“You good, Nyla?” Eagle again. Was he hanging out just outside the door? Why? My heart started pounding and I shivered again. I tried to hurry and get my clothes on, but I was shaking so hard I could barely stay upright. “Nyla? Honey, talk to me.”
My breath was coming in wheezing gasps as panic blanketed me. Somehow, I managed to get the panties in the plastic packaging open and one leg through the opening of a pair, but I was still mostly wet and I fumbled with the other leg.
The door cracked open. “Nyla?”
The second Eagle stuck his head through the opening, something inside me snapped. I screamed, throwing something at the door. I had no idea what it was. I just picked up the first thing my hand touched and threw it to defend myself.
“Hey. Easy, Nyla. No one’s gonna hurt you.” The reply was calm, but Eagle didn’t open the door again. “Do you want me to get Rose?”
I couldn’t speak, my breath sawing in and out of my lungs in huge gasps. Couldn’t do anything but struggle to breathe. Trembling and shaking, I sat on the closed toilet lid, my knees tucked to my chest. I still had my underwear around one ankle and the towel around my shoulders. Voices could be heard outside the door, but Eagle didn’t open it again. Maybe he’d go away. Did I want him to go away?
The next thing I knew, Rose entered the bathroom and shut the door softly. “Hey there.” She smiled at me but didn’t get closer. “Can I help you dress? You won’t feel as vulnerable if you’re dressed.”
Meeting her gaze was hard. I felt like an idiot, but I couldn’t seem to bring myself out of the panic engulfing me. “I’m s-so s-sor-ry,” I sobbed out. “S-sorry!”
“Nothing to be sorry about,” Rose said with a kind smile. “You’ve been through enough to make anyone have issues. You’re here in a strange place with strange people. Of course, you’re scared.” Rose picked up the backpack and pulled out some more clothes. She put a T-shirt over my head before helping me with my underwear and a pair of thin cotton pants. Something loose and easy to move around in, as well as cool in the hot, summer weather. Right now, I seemed to be equal parts hot and cold. I was sweating, but I couldn’t seem to stop shaking.
