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If anything was going to keep him awake, it wouldn’t be his casts. No, it would be thoughts of Janessa that kept him from falling right to sleep. Jay’s visit had stirred up his emotions, and they hadn’t fully settled.
He’d still been able to function and carry on with most aspects of his life after Daphne had broken up with him. Will wasn’t sure that would be the case this time, even if he hadn’t been incapacitated.
This heartache was so deeply entrenched within him that Will was certain he’d never be free of it.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
As she woke, Janessa’s eyes briefly fluttered opened, but she squeezed them shut again. The room was dark, but that was the case all the time now. She never opened the heavy curtains over her windows anymore, so she had no idea what time of day it was.
Not that she cared. Night or day, nothing changed for her. All she wanted to do was sleep. She’d never realized that a person could sleep so much.
Since she was doing pretty much nothing, she wasn’t physically exhausted. However, she’d come to understand that mental and emotional exhaustion was a thing.
“I know you’re awake.”
Janessa’s eyes opened of their own accord at the sound of Jay’s voice. It wasn’t the first time she’d awoken to find a sibling sitting beside her bed.
With a sigh, Janessa turned onto her back, covering her eyes with her arm. “It’s creepy that you guys sit there watching me sleep.”
“I’m not watching you sleep,” Jay said. “I was reading on my phone while I waited for you to wake up.”
“What do you want?”
“I saw Will a little while ago.”
Just hearing his name caused her heart to ache more. It wasn’t the first time her siblings had talked about him, but it never got any easier. She just kept reminding herself that this pain was better than how she’d feel if they were still together when something bad happened to him.
“He thinks you broke up with him because you’re afraid.”
The pain in her heart swelled at hearing that sentence. It just proved how well Will knew her. He’d obviously picked that up from the few things she’d shared and probably also from her constant requests that he let her know he was safely home after dropping her off.
“Is he right?” Jay asked. “Were you so scared that you might lose him at some point that when you were in that accident, you figured it was easier to end things before the worst might happen at some point in the future?”
Janessa’s heart rate increased, and she fought to keep her breathing even. Her family had all been trying to figure out why she’d broken up with Will, but Jay was the person who’d come closest to her reasoning.
Still, she refused to respond to his questions. She wasn’t going to get into this conversation with him. He’d somehow managed to get past his fear of losing someone he loved—if he’d ever had it—and wouldn’t understand how she felt.
“You know the chances of Will dying in an accident are quite low. Millions of people go through their day without dying that way.”
And yet, they’d been in an accident, and Will had comethis closeto dying. Did that mean that he’d had his one brush with death, so he wouldn’t die until he was old and gray? Janessa was pretty sure that wasn’t how life worked.
“I know it was hard losing Mom and Dad, but we had people there to support us through that. We weren’t alone.Youwouldn’t be alone if something happened to Will.”
But no one could take the pain away. No one would hurt like she would if she lost the man she loved.
But you’ve already lost him.That voice in her head had reminded her of that every time she tried to justify her reasons for breaking up with Will.
“Nessa, c’mon. Talk to me.”
Janessa was certain the only reason he wanted her to respond was so that he could tear apart whatever argument she presented, so she kept her mouth shut.
“I love you so much,” Jay said. “Don’t shut me out.”
His words lit a fire of fury within her. Harnessing that anger, Janessa flung back her blanket, struggling to get her casted leg over the side of her bed. When she was sitting on the edge of the bed, she leaned forward and glared at Jay.
“You say you love me? You don’t.” Anger made her voice waver. “You don’t want me to shut you out? Too bad. How does it feel? How. Does. It. Feel?”
“Why are you so angry?” Jay asked. “I don’t understand.”
