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“I’m okay. Just didn’t sleep well last night, then didn’t get a chance to nap today. I’m not going to stay up too late tonight.”
“Hopefully you sleep better.” Janessa hesitated. “Everything okay with you and Gareth?”
“Everything is fine.” Aria’s smile was reassuring. “It’s just getting closer to a time of year that I find… difficult. Sometimes it hits me harder than others.”
Janessa felt like a horrible friend. It had been so long since her own mom had passed away that significant days seemed to slip by without as much emotional impact as she’d felt early on. Aria had had many years with her mom, so her loss also probably felt much more monumental, especially since it hadn’t been that long since she’d lost her.
“I’m sorry to hear that. Do you want to talk about it?”
“No, it’s fine. Like I said, I just have a moment sometimes. It’s getting a little easier, and the sad moments don’t pull me down as much anymore.”
So, instead of that, they talked a bit about the week ahead, including the meeting the next night with the people who were going to be serving at the Fall Dinner.
“Did you hear that Will went on a date tonight?” Aria asked.
A sick feeling flooded Janessa’s stomach as she lowered her mug, gripping it tightly between her hands. “A date? With who?”
“Apparently Jackson asked Will to go on a double date with him and a woman he’d met on an app.”
“Who was the woman Will was going with?”
“She’s the best friend of Jackson’s date.”
“And Will wanted to go on a date with a stranger?” Even though Janessa hadn’t thought she’d care if Will started dating again, she had just discovered she absolutely did.
When he’d started dating Daphne, Janessa had been disappointed, but mainly that was because she hadn’t really liked the woman. She hadn’t been as close to Will back then, either. This time, however, they’d become closer in the past several weeks, and for some reason, that meant she reacted more strongly to his decision to go on this date.
“I don’t know why he would have gone if he didn’t want to,” Aria said as she lifted her mug to take a sip. “I think it’s a good sign that he’s dating again. Must mean he’s getting over Daphne.”
Thatwasa good thing, but Janessa didn’t want him to get another girlfriend. She also didn’t want to admit exactlywhyshe didn’t want that. Even to herself.
What good would it do to acknowledge her feelings for Will when she couldn’t—or wouldn’t—do anything about them?
“Are you okay with that?” Aria asked.
“With Will going on a date?” When Aria nodded, Janessa said, “Why wouldn’t I be? Like you said, it’s a good thing if it proves that he’s gotten over Daphne.”
“I kind of thought maybe the two of you might have feelings for each other.”
“Well, if Will is dating other women, I think that’s a pretty clear sign that’s not the case.”
“Maybe for him,” Aria said. “But not for you.”
Janessa met her gaze directly, knowing she’d interpret anything else as avoidance. “I’m not wanting a relationship with Will. He’s a good friend.”
Aria’s expression was contemplative as she continued to sip her hot chocolate. “Why don’t you want a relationship?”
Janessa had never shared how she felt about relationships, and she didn’t plan to do so right then either. However, she knew that Aria wasn’t going to just let it go.
“I haven’t yet met the man who makes me want to be in one.”
“Are you even giving men a chance to be that person for you?”
She wasn’t. Not really. But she doubted Aria would understand her reasoning. Or even if she did, she would still think it was something that Janessa could work through or get over. She might not be wrong, but it was Janessa’s choice of whether or not to do that work.
“If the reason you’re not interested in dating is because you worried about a guy hurting you, I’m sure you could trust Will.”
If it had been that, Janessa would have absolutely agreed that Will could be trusted. Unfortunately, Will had no way of controlling what worried her the most about having a relationship.
