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“Jay seemed to come to the realization that when you get along great with your family, dating a woman who is accepted by family and friends is a good thing,” Charli said. “It would be nice if Will figured that out too, because I don’t think Daphne got along with his family, let alone his friends.”
“I don’t know why she didn’t like to hang out with us because we’re all amazing.”
Charli gave a huff of laughter. “Apparently Daphne didn’t feel the same way.”
Janessa broke off a piece of cookie and popped it into her mouth, then she lifted her mug and took a sip, allowing the hot liquid to soften the cookie. It was an amazing combination, and for a moment, she was glad she’d come to the kitchen instead of retreating to her room.
“I guess Aria’s still out with Gareth?”
“I assume so,” Charli said.
Janessa was kind of relieved because she didn’t want to talk to Aria that night. Not when she was still so confused in her head over what Will had revealed.
Once she finished her coffee and cookies, Janessa rinsed out her mug, then put it into the dishwasher. “I’m going to head up to my room. I think I should probably call it an early night since tomorrow is going to be busy with preparations for the dinner.”
“What time do you have to be at the church?”
“They want us there early in the afternoon so we can get everything set up. I think they’re starting to cook around the same time.”
“I bet it’s going to smell amazing,” Charli said.
“Yep. The food is going to be great, especially since Denise is helping with it.”
Janessa picked up her purse. “But first, we have to get the room all set up.”
“If you need anything, let me know.”
“Will do,” Janessa said. “See you tomorrow.”
Up in her room, Janessa tossed her purse on her desk, then peeled off her T-shirt. She dropped it into the dirty clothes hamper in the bathroom, then added her jeans.
After pulling on the tank top and shorts she usually slept in, she went through her nighttime routine in the bathroom. All the while, she kept replaying her conversation with Will.
His words still stunned her because, until hearing that he’d gone on that double date with Jackson, she’d never really considered what Will might think about her. Well, she’d figured he liked her well enough to be her friend.
He’d always been kind to her, so Janessa had felt confident that he cared for her… as a friend. Although, there had been moments during Jay’s situation when she’d wondered if Will had cared for her at all, since he hadn’t been willing to put her mind at ease by telling her what was going on. But to learn that he now actually cared for her as more than just a friend was stunning.
Back in her room, she switched on the small lamp on her nightstand, then turned off the overhead light. She crawled into bed and pulled the comforter up to her chin.
What was she supposed to do?
She knew what sheshoulddo. She should text Will and tell him no, that she didn’t think they should go on a date. However, there was something inside of her that didn’t want to do that.
After losing both parents, she’d lived those first couple of years, worried that she was going to lose the one other person she loved. For the first year following her mom’s death, she’d needed to have Jay close by. They’d slept in the same room, and even at school, she’d needed to see him whenever possible.
Over the years, however, she’d learned how to deal with her fear. Or more realistically, perhaps, when nothing bad had happened, she’d been able to shove it to the back of her mind.
That hadn’t meant it was gone, however.
She’d never been able to get over the fear sufficiently to let herself get close enough to someone to fall in love with them. It wasn’t just the thought of losing someone she loved. It was where such a love could lead… to marriage and children.
Losing a husband would be horrible. But even worse, in her mind, would be if something happened to her and her husband, leaving any children they had without their parents.
She knew from personal experience the horror of having that happen. Even all these years later, she still felt the effects of that loss, and she never wanted to inflict that on a child. Because of that, it had just been easier to avoid serious relationships and everything that might follow.
Well, it had been easier when there hadn’t been anyone presenting her with the opportunity for that future. In a different life, she absolutely would have wanted a husband and children. She wouldn’t have hesitated to say yes to Will.
But in the life she’d ended up with…
