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For a moment, Hudson was taken aback. Herfaithwas the reason they had no future?
He could tell her that he understood her faith, and though it wasn’t important to him, he’d never stand in the way of her practising it. But he had a feeling that wouldn’t be enough for her. Plus, it would involve explaining why he’d once embraced her faith, but no longer did.
For someone like Kayleigh, who was so strong in her faith, it wouldn’t make sense why he’d walked away from his. Hudson knew that for some, facing difficulties made their faith stronger. For him, however, the opposite had been true.
Perhaps if he’d viewed Kayleigh’s faith as a red flag, he would have kept his distance from her, and they wouldn’t have ended up where they had. But though he had no interest in God himself, her faith hadn’t been a turnoff for him.
Though he had enough knowledge to possibly fake things, Kayleigh’s genuineness was one of the things that had drawn him to her, and he felt like he owed her the same in return. Plus, if his faith had been real, he would have already told her that they had that in common.
So, her revelation meant it was over.
“Thank you for letting me know.” Hudson got to his feet, buttoning his suit coat. “I’ll leave you to your work.”
He’d just about made it to the door when Kayleigh said his name. Hudson reached out and gripped the doorjamb before turning to face her, hoping that nothing of what he was feeling was showing on his face.
“I really am sorry.”
There was plenty of emotion on her face then. All of it mirrored what he was feeling, but he knew it still wouldn’t be enough for her to reconsider her position.
“So am I.”
Hudson inhaled deeply as he walked past Andrea’s desk and out into the hallway. A mess of emotions swirled inside him. The likes of which he’d never dealt with as an adult.
Except he wasn’t going to deal with them. They might be there, but he also knew that they didn’t have to dominate his life. If he could continue with his life by focusing on his schoolwork after his mom died, he could continue on now by focusing on his work.
He made his way to the Steakhouse and joined Lydia and Kenneth, though he didn’t order anything to eat.
“What time are you planning to leave?” Hudson asked. “Because I’ll be hitching a ride back with you.”
“We weren’t sure how long it was going to take, so we told the pilot to be ready around six.”
“Perfect. I’m going to go to my suite and finish up a few things before I pack. You can come hang out there or, if you’d prefer, you can probably go back to the boardroom where we met earlier.”
After a bit of discussion, they decided to go to the boardroom. Hudson sent Kayleigh a text to make sure that the room was still available, and when she said it was, he let Lydia and Kenneth know.
“I’ll talk with you later,” Hudson said, then left them to finish their meal.
Up in his suite, Hudson jerked off his suit coat and flung it at the couch. He was angry at himself. Angry at the situation. Even a little angry at Kayleigh.
Hudson was mad that he’d opened himself up to this hurt. There was a reason he kept people at arm’s length. He’d already faced rejection from his own father. Why give someone else the opportunity to reject him?
And yet he had, and now he was dealing with rejection yet again. However, this would be the first and last time that he’d allow anyone to get that close.
It was time to get back to his life.
In making the decision to leave, he knew he was running away. There was no doubt about that. Which, on one hand, didn’t sit well with him. However, it was for the best. There was no way he could stay after Kayleigh had rejected him.
He hadn’t felt that level of hurt since his mom’s death. Not that what he was currently feeling reached anywhere near the magnitude of pain his mom’s death had brought him.
However, even though the depth of hurt wasn’t the same, it held a sense of hopelessness that felt all too familiar. Following his mom’s death, he’d known there was nothing he could do to change anything. And he was feeling similarly now.
There was no way to change things with Kayleigh. Well, no way that he could genuinely embrace.
The whole situation was a keen reminder that he was better off keeping to himself.
He hadn’t set out to get close to anyone in Serenity, but somehow, Kayleigh had snuck past the walls he’d erected around his heart. And Hudson had been fine with that because she was just so amazing. So beautiful, inside and out. So genuine.
If she’d flirted and pursued him, he might have kept his distance. But instead, she’d dealt with him professionally at first, then friendlier, as they’d spent more time together. It felt almost inevitable that they’d develop feelings for each other.
